A Lifetime of Servitudes
by Lady Isabella aka frosty1974
Summary: Go along with Bella for the bumpy ride as she makes many discovers in her new life. Edward or Jacob? And what happened to Renesemee? Lots of love, drama and imprinting secrets! On Hold!
1. Chapter 1

A Lifetime of Servitudes

A/N Disclaimers: I do not own the characters or the music. That blessing is the wonderful Stephanie Myers; I just play around with them. Hope you enjoy my story and be sure to let me know what you think!

JACOBS POV (ch.1)

It was a year ago today that Bella and I were last in my rusty bolted garage together, what she affectionately called 'Washington State's little Taj-Majal'.

So much has changed since that day, but I remember it like it was yesterday. She looked like a porcelain doll, so beautiful with her big brown chocolate eyes that allowed you to see straight into her soul.

Bella had a heart shaped face of an angel, with lovely cream colored skin and just the faintest hint of a pink undertone in her cheeks. Her hair was a deep mahogany brown, long and wavy gliding down her back; it made me just want to snuggle up next to her and lose myself in it. I used to dream of doing just that, but I knew I couldn't; not then, not now.

I knew that I had to take care of her; she was so fragile, a vulnerable mess, as I used to call her.

During that time, it seemed as if Bella was dead on the inside; she didn't eat or sleep, she was despondent and internally dying ever so slowly. I had made it my mission in life to make her smile again.

All I wanted to do was love and protect her from everything and everyone, including herself. I had set out on a journey that would include a lot of self-flagellation, and I wasn't too sure at that moment how I felt about it, but I knew that this would be a pain in my life that would be more than worth it.

_FLASHBACK…_

"_Hey Bella, Happy Valentine's Day!" I held my hand out to her and on my palm, sat a little pink box of conversation hearts. I looked at her shocked face as her eyes started to swell up with tears and I thought to myself, __**Shit, what did I do now?**_ _She looked somewhat confused and as I started to apologize to her, she spoke with a saddened voice._

"_Well I feel like a schmuck, is today Valentine's Day?"_

_I smiled softly at her, "Yes, today is the fourteenth of February, and since you didn't get me a fifty cent box of candy, will you be my Valentine? It's the least you could do."_

_I was joking around, trying to lighten her mood but she had this crippling of hurt look in her eyes. I didn't need to be a mind reader to read Bella; her face was like an open book to me. __**How do I fix this?**_ _**How do I fix her?**_

_Bella looked at me suspiciously. "What exactly does that entail, being your Valentine?"_

_I feigned deep thought and laughed, "Oh, just the usual, slave for life, that kind of thing."_

"_Oh, well, if that's all." She shrugged and took the box of candy._

_Bella didn't mean that literally, but little did she know, I was going to hold her to that lifetime of servitude that she promised._

_END OF FLASHBACK…_

I heard my name being called, jolting me out of my memories "Jacob…JACOB, man are you okay? I thought we were going over to the Cullen's house?"

"Seth, we are, just let me find some music to listen to." And with that we were leaving La Push. We were headed down route 109 in my little 1996 rabbit when I heard the song that had become my life now…Scars_ by Papa Roach._

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, _

_My weakness is that I care too much,_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real, _

_I tear my heart open just to feel._

_Drunk and I'm feeling down and I just want to be alone,_

_I'm pissed because you came around,_

_Why don't you just go home?_

_Because you channel all your pain and I can't help you fix yourself,_

_You're making me insane and all I can say is, _

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut,_

_My weakness is, that I care too much,_

_Our scars remind us that the past is real,_

_I tear my heart open, just to feel,_

_I tried to help you once,_ _against my own advice,_

_I saw you going down, __but_ _you never realized _

_That you were drowning in the water, so I offered you my hand,_

_Compassion's in my nature, tonight is my last dance,_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, _

_My weakness is, that I care too much…_

…_causing you're drowning in the water_

_And I tried to grab your hand_

_I left my heart open_

_But you didn't understand….._

"Jake, man are you okay today, I can see there's something up with you. Do you want to talk?"Seth questioned me again with worried eyes.

"No, Seth, I'm fine. I was just remembering some things from the past, that's all." I told him hoping he'd drop it and leave me to my thoughts.

Looking at me intently again, Seth said. "You sure are out of it today."

Ignoring his remarks and hearing the last words of the song, my next memories were when Bella had been pregnant with Renesmee.

_Flashback …_

_She had been so sick; it tore my heart open to see her like that. I stood by helplessly as she edged closer to death with every passing second. I hated Edward for doing that to her, but I hated that monster she was carrying even more…or so I thought._

_Edward and I were trying so hard to save Bella's life as she lay there on that table, covered in blood, her body all broken; she was fading away faster then we could make our hands move. As I pumped at her heart and administered CPR, I felt like I was losing myself, she was my best friend. I had to try harder, I couldn't lose her._

"_You stay with me now Bella...do you hear me? Stay. You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating," I pleaded. She had to stay alive, for me._

_I knew I was fighting a battle that had already been lost._

_I had lost her. I could not save Bella. I didn't think. I couldn't hear. I just ran down stairs. I was going to kill the monster that had killed my Bella._

_As I stepped off the last step, I looked up and there she was... Bella, My Bella, her perfect little dimples, her long wavy brown hair and my Bella's big beautiful brown eyes. There was my Bella, a tiny little perfect half human, half vampire porcelain doll. She looked straight at me and I saw her mother. I knew in that moment that I could never hurt her…she was the image of my Bella. _

_At that moment I became aware of two heart beats outside of my own and I knew that the tiny being was half human and that, Edward must have managed to restart Bella's heart with his venom. I knew she would be a vampire now, but I didn't care anymore. I knew I would love her anyway. _

_I decided right then and there, that I would never leave her or Renesmee… __**Reason and Love Keep Little Company These Days.**_

_End____of____Flashback__**…**_

"Hey Jake, do you think Nessie will like her amulet?" Again, Seth drew me out of my day dream.

"Yes Seth, she will love it."

Nessie is the nick name I gave her because her name was a bit of a mouthful. The Cullen's didn't like it too much, and Bells had attacked me over it, but I didn't care. They all call her Nessie now.

"Jake, I can't wait to see her; I bet she has grown a foot overnight," Seth laughed, while rubbing his hands together like it was Christmas morning, and he was getting ready to open his best present.

Chuckling at his remark I told him. "I don't think she will have grown that much Seth, but we'll see."

Nessie is growing extremely fast, her vampire genes are accelerating the ageing process and driving her toward being a teenager. This will start to slow down as she matures, we have discovered that by the time she is seven she will look to be about seventeen years old. Around that time she will stop ageing.

Seth and I spend most of our time with Nessie. I eat and sleep most of my time at the cottage with her and Bella, when I am not on patrol. I do have to stay in La Push some of the time though, since I am the Alpha now of our pack.

Nessie loves to come to La Push and play on the beach. Seth and I take turns riding her through the woods on our furry backs and making sand castles by the blue tide pools. Bella always loved playing next to the tide pools when were kids, and Nessie loves them just as much.

"Hey Jake, What are we doing tonight?" What was with him today? He was determined to disrupt every daydreaming thought that I had.

"Well Seth, you are on patrol at midnight, and I am going to spend some time with my dad. I feel like there is something going on with him that he doesn't want me to know about. And you know my dad; if he's hiding something then it's pretty important."

Seth then looked at me pleading again."Jake, what are we going to think about to keep Edward from reading our minds while we are there this time?" I hated that I had to have him go along with me on this. Seth truly was a pure soul and hated lying to anyone.

"Well, I will be thinking of that song I was just listening to and you can be thinking about your school work or where you will be running tonight, it doesn't really matter, just try not to make it obvious that your keeping him out." Thinking to myself out loud I whispered "Easiersaidthandone_."_

"Okay man, but when are you going to tell Bella the truth?" At this question I felt bad again.

"Seth, I can't right now, give me a little more time and I will make everything right with her, I promise." I begged him as I pondered how nice it would be to finally have everything out on the table.

"Okay... Jake, I can't wait to see Nessie; I hope she likes her present. Hey, how are you going to explain to Edward that you got Bella a Valentine's present?"

"Seth, I got Edward one too remember the box we made earlier?" Which I could care less what he thought about anything, but for the sake of _my girls_, I'd kiss ass, for a little while longer anyway.

Laughing at his forgetfulness, Seth said."Oh Yeah, how did I forget that? I screwed it up three times."

Giving Seth my evil look, I told him."Well I have kindly put three presents inside the box. You know, things that every vampire needs to have on hand." I snorted with laughter as I imagined Edwards's reaction.

"Man, what did you do?" Seth asked.

"You'll see" I told him still chuckling evilly.

"Jake, I sure hope Edward will think that it's as funny as you do, but I doubt it somehow." He stated as he turned and glanced back out the window, worry clearly showing on his face.

"Well Seth, my brother, I do find it funny and, seeing as our truce came to an end after the battle with the Volturi, I don't have to be nice to him anymore, so I'm making the most of it."

Taking a deep breath Seth's now weekly question came up again."Jake, what about those Italian bloodsuckers, what are we going to do if they come back for Nessie and Bella?"

"I will do what I always do, protect Bella, Nessie and our people," I quickly retorted.

"What about the Cullen's, Jake? They're family to us now too."

"Yeah, I know Seth, don't remind me." I grumbled.

I know Bella and if she thought for one second that I was not going to protect her precious Cullen's, then she wouldn't let me help her, so I knew I'd be helping them too. If there's one thing I can say about the Cullen's, it's that they truly love Bella and as long as she and Nessie love them, I will be protecting them too.

"Jake man, wake up dude... You just missed the driveway." Seth yelled getting frustrated with my mind babbling today.

"Shit," I hissed before I pulled over and executed a U-turn.

When I got up to the house the first thing I was faced with was Edward carrying about four dozen pink, white and red roses inside. Alice glided behind him with what looked like over one hundred helium balloons. "What in the hell...Is there some kind of wedding here today that I wasn't invited to?" _Not that I would have come anyway. Great, that's all I needed to see today; Edwards plans for MY girls. Hmph!_

Can't the gods give me a break for just one day? I swear, I think they like playing baseball with fucking my heart…


	2. Chapter 2

A Lifetime of Servitudes

A/N Disclaimers: I do not own the characters or the music. That blessing is the wonderful Stephanie Myers; I just play around with them. Hope you enjoy my story and be sure to let me know what you think!

JACOBS POV (ch.2)

"Edward," I called. "Do you need some help?"

"No Jake, I think I can manage." He smiled at me smugly.

"Oh Edward please, are you afraid that _our_ girls will think that all these roses are from me?"

"No Jacob, I don't, and they're not _our_ girls. They are _my_ girls and I don't think I will share either of them with you today," he sneered. I loved winding him up.

"Calm down Edward, put your growl back in your pants, this day is too pretty for me to spend it tearing you into minced meat for my pups." I laughed at him harshly. "So where are the two most beautiful, porcelain dolls in the world at right now?" I waited for an answer but he didn't reply, "Oh yeah, Seth and I have all three of you something special for Valentine's Day."

"How exciting, thedog went sniffing for presents. No offence to you Seth, you know you are always welcome to spend time with _my girls_." _Arrogant bastard_.

"Thanks Edward? How is Nessie doing, has she had anymore nightmares?" Seth asked, standing watching amused at mine and dickward's banter.

"Not so much Seth, she is sleeping a little better now. I don't know what has made her start to worry about her mother like this. She seems to be really worried about losing Bella. Nessie wakes up screaming and crying 'mommy, don't leave us.' Bella has been sitting with her while she sleeps at night. As far as I can read from her dreams she is seeing Bella dead, like a human, but we all know that can't be real...anyway, the girls are both at the cottage. Alice, Esme and Rose are helping me fix up the house for a special Valentine's Day for Bella and Nessie, seeing as it's our first one as a family. You can go on over and see them, but tell Bella she is not to come here until Alice comes to get them."

"Ok, will do," Seth muttered. As I was remembering that this was his first Valentine's with them period, because Bella was with me last year on this day, while he was out with his distractions.

"Oh Edward, here is your present." I tossed him the little wooden box that Seth and I had made earlier today. He opened it, and I thought he was going to spit teeth when he hissed at the three presents that lay in the box…a clove of garlic, a wooden stake, and a bottle of holy water. I chuckled as his face contorted with disgust. "Come on bloodsucker, you have to admit it was funny as hell to see the look on your face as you took in those thoughtful presents that I got you." I laughed at him hysterically.

"Yeah dog, really barking funny….Woof, woof... I'm sure Bella will enjoy these presents. Now, go see Nessie before I change my mind and hide her from your wet dog stench today."

"Okay, okay!" I shot over my shoulder as I smirked and walked away.

"Jake, Edward didn't say you could see Bella too, don't you think he will be mad when he sees that you also got Bella something?"

"Well bro, that sounds like a personal problem for him if you ask me, I really don't care. Besides I told him I had something for all three of them, I can't help it if he thought the box was for him and Bella."

When we got to the cottage, I smelled eggs and blue berry muffins wafting through the air. Mm, No one can cook like Bella. Those muffins smelled so delicious, I would have given up my tail to have a few of them. Thank goodness Bella loves to feed me, so my tail will stay intact today.

I opened the door and walked right on in "Jaky, Jaky, Jaky." Before I knew it, I was tossed over onto the couch on top of Seth and under Nessie!

"Hey, Beautiful, Happy Valentine's Day" I cooed. "Seth and I brought you and your mommy presents."

"Yay! Seth, Seth…you're here too!" Nessie squealed in delight.

"Yes Nessie, I'm here too. Do you really think I would miss this day with you? Jacob and I both got up early this morning to work on your presents." I disentangled myself from between the two and left them in front of the TV. I needed to see _my_ girl.

I made my way over to the kitchen. "Bella, honey those muffins smell almost as good as you do on a rainy day. Are you willing to share?" I asked, inhaling the sweet smell of blue berries and muffins. Bella froze for a moment thinking of something, but before I had time to ask she moved on.

"Thanks Jake, it's an off day when I don't get someone reminding me how good I smell or taste and if you promise not to eat me, I guess I will share," she teased.

"Hey, I can't help it you married a vampire. Remember, I tried to stop you. Besides, I love your smell not the taste of your blood." I cooed as my laugh rumbled through my chest.

"Alright Jacob…Would you rather eat or do you prefer to just irritate me to death?" She said sounding kind of agitated.

"Oh Bells, I told you I just wanted to smell you not eat you. Although that might be kind of fun." _Wham!_ Bella's muffins pan clattered right onto the back of my head. I raised my hands to fight off any further assault.

"Ouch! Damnit Bella, be nice. I brought you a present! And yes, I want to eat." I groaned with laughter.

"Okay, but you're trying to be perverted in front of my daughter and Seth. Do I always have to be the adult around you Jacob?" She asked sounding serious this time.

"Nope, let me be the grown up for once. Then I can ground you to La Push for the next one hundred years or so." I told her wishing I could do just that.

"Jacob Black, today is not a good day to fool with me, if it is at all possible for a vampire to have a migraine, then I definitely have one." Bella said as her face turned into a painful scold at me.

"Okay, okay, okay…I'm sorry honey. Let's eat. But I can fix that headache for you, just say the word." I said, waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

"Yes, I bet you could. Now shut up and eat!" Seth, Nessie and I all sat down at the bar and ate the muffins, eggs and bacon Bella had made, as I kept my eyes locked on her floating back and forth around the kitchen cleaning anything and everything to keep herself busy. I was beginning to worry about her, every few seconds I would catch her raising her hand to her temples and rub with hard pressure.

Bella's muffins were so sweet; the smell of them alone was enough to make my mouth water. As fast as my mind traveled to that thought I reversed it, not wanting to think of all the other things about Bella that make my mouth flood.

"Hey Ness, would you like to see what Seth and I got you for Valentine's Day?"

"Yes!" she squealed bouncing up and down on her stool.

"Ok, close your eyes and Seth will give it to you." With that Nessie was standing in front of Seth with a huge smile on her face and her eyes closed tight.

Seth put the bracelet on Nessie and I could see the heartfelt smile on his face shine clear down to his soul. And in that moment I felt jealous. I thought to myself about how I would give up anything to be able to feel as happy as he was in that one second. I would have given up being Alpha a million times over to be able to show my love for _her_ plainly and clearly on my face for everyone to see. To shower _her_ with adoration and devotion I held for _her_. Instead, I would be trapped for a lifetime, confined in to my own heart, and bound by the full potential of love that I had for _my_ imprint.

"Do you like it, Nessie?" I asked softly.

"Oh Jaky, Seth, I Love it. It's BEAUTIFUL!!" Ness yelled, twirling the bracelet around her wrist, looking at the dangle.

"Hey Ness, Do you know what that is on your arm?" Her curls bounced around her cheeks as she shook her head. "It is an amulet. They have special powers, did you know that?" Seth cooed as she gazed in awe at him.

"No Seth, I didn't know that. What does it do?" Nessie curiously asked with her adorable twinkle in her eyes.

"We'll, it is a protection amulet and it will help you be strong and intuitive. And whenever you need me or Jake all you have to do is hold it in your hand, and call out our name and we will be there as quick as when can run." Seth whispered affectionately at her, knowing that one or the two of us would always be within hearing range of her.

"Oh Seth, I love you and Jaky so much! Thank you!" She said crawling up on the counter and kissing each of us on the cheek.

"Mommy, look at my pretty bracelet." She told her as Bella smiled hugging her close to her.

I turned my attention back to Bella as I moved up behind her, wrapping my arms loosely around her waist.. "So Bella, are you ready for your present, or do I have to wait for you to clean the kitchen again, so you don't throw anymore pans at my head?"

She giggled, "Yes Jake, I'm ready, but I didn't get you anything." She said squeezing her temples again_. What is wrong with her? Is it possible for their kind to have headaches?_

"Bells, you have given me much more then you will ever know honey. Now close your eyes and be very still…" I whispered in her ear, being serious, but trying to sound like I was playing around with her.

"Wait Jake, the last time someone expected me to close my eyes and be very still, he was trying to kiss me without killing me! I don't think this is such a good idea, you know, Edward would break your jaw if he thought for one second you were going to kiss me!"

"Relax Bella; I am not going to kiss you, unless of course you ask. After all, it is Valentine's Day, and you did promise me last Valentine's Day a lifetime of servitudes, remember?" I laughed out loud, while Bella stared at me with her mouth hanging slightly open.

"Bells, I am just joking, now close your mouth, and let me give you something!"God, this girl is so paranoid when it comes to me and Edward. Is he really still that jealous of our friendship? After all he's the one who got to marry her and we will _only_ be best _friends_ forever!

"Okay Bella, here we go, close your eyes and listen with your heart. Every week I will add another song for you. It will remind you of our friendship and the times we spent together in La Push," I leaned in close and whispered "I love you Bella, and I miss you, always."

I pressed play for the first song. It was_ Slipped away by Avril Lavinge. _I knew all of the words by heart.

_I miss you, miss you so bad,_

_I don't forget you,_

_Oh, it's so sad,_

_I hope you can hear me…._

_I remember it clearly…_

_The day you slipped away,_

_Was the day I found it won't be the same…._

And while she listened to the song I stood and whispered to myself versus, that seem to be stuck in my head when I think of her and what we lost.

_I had my wake up, won't you wake up_

_I keep asking why, and I can't take it_

_It wasn't fake, it happened, you passed by._

_Now you are gone, now you are gone_

_There you go, there you go,_

_Somewhere I can't bring you back from,_

_Now you are gone, now you are gone,_

_There you go, there you go,_

_Somewhere you're not coming back from,_

Bella moved to sit in a chair looking out over the little pond that Esme had made for her. I couldn't tell for sure, but she looked like she was a little bit confused, like she was debating something her special little mind was pondering over.

I love it when Bella looks like that; when she bites her lip so softly, it sent chills straight down my spine that explode into a million tiny tingles at my core. _Will this feeling ever go away?_ I guess I will always love Bella, and these feelings will never go away.

I hope she likes my present. I had tried to find something that the two of us had shared last summer, something that might bring back memories for her. Bella was always telling me how the worst thing about being a vampire was that most her memories were gone, and the ones she still had were fuzzy, like looking through a fogged up window.

Edward didn't really understand the importance of her memories to her, but I did, and I had hoped that it bothered her for the same reason that it bothered me. The memories we shared were almost gone. Carlisle had told her before she was changed that it was a chance she would be taking. He said that human memories fade after time.

But Bella being _special_ was one of the few that woke having already lost most of them and that made Edward happy. He knew that meant she would soon be completely his then, and he wouldn't have to share her with me or Charlie any longer.

That thought was starting to make blood boil, and then I smelt the dead walk in_. Huh, think of shit and it hits you in the face!_

I cast my mind back, remembering something my dad use to say to me all the time as a child, then I found myself rolling the phrase over my tongue to keep myself from phasing.

**"**_**What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." **_


	3. Chapter 3

BELLA'S POV (ch3)

"So Bells, are you ready for your present?" Jacob asked giving me his famous sexy smirk.

"Jacob, you know I hate presents." I whispered knowing he would hear me, as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Bells" He said sounding frustrated at me. _Why would he be frustrated, he knows, they all know I hate presents._

Sighing, I decided to give in to my best friend and make him happy. "Yes Jacob, I'm ready but I feel bad. I didn't get you anything." I told him frowning at myself for ignoring this day. Today would have been the one day I could have gave him something without Edward making a big deal about it.

"Oh honey, you have given me something more special than you will ever know. And let's not forget about your promise last Valentine's Day." He whispered, his hot breath hitting my neck and sending chills straight to my core.

Trying to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head at the sensation he was causing, I managed to ask him. "What promise was that Jacob?" I had lost most of my memories during my change and the others were quickly fading.

"Bells, remember you promised me a lifetime of servitudes." He reminded me, still standing behind me causing ever fiber in my body to begin to ache. "Oh well, if that's all I promised, then I guess I'm safe." I told him giggling softly.

"You think you're cute, don't you Bells. But just so you know, I plan on keeping you my slave for life." He bantered with me chuckling as he released my waist to start tickling me. _God can Jacob Black sound anymore sexier than that?_

"Ok honey, close your eyes and be very still." He whispered blowing his hot breath down my neck again as he spoke_. Damn, did he really not know what he was doing to me? _

"Wait! Jacob! Very still! The last time someone told me that, he was trying to kiss me without losing control and killing me! Really Jake, I don't think this is a good idea. If Edward thought you had kissed me again he would break your jaw!" I hushed whispered praying that Edward wasn't anywhere near the house. Although lately the only thing I seem to be able to think about is the one and only memory I have with Jacob, and it was sketchy, but I could definitely see him kissing me outside the tent the morning of the newborn fight.

"Relax Bells, I'm not going to kiss you. That is unless you ask me too, after all it is Valentine's Day and Edward didn't say I couldn't kiss you, he just said I had to wait for you to ask me." He seductively said smirking again raising one eyebrow in question, like he was waiting for me to ask. _Damn this man, why does he make me so paranoid? Why can't I stop these feelings? I a married woman and he imprinted on my daughter, what the hell is wrong with me!_

"Bells, I'm just joking with you, stop gnawing your lip and over thinking this, it's just a present for god's sake! Now close your eyes and listen with your heart. I'll add music to it every week to help you remember all of our times together in La Push. Remember I love and miss you always, Bella." He said whispering the last sentence in my ear as he placed the ear buds in my ear and pressed play.

_Slipped Away by Avril Lavinge…_

_I miss you, miss you so bad,_

_I don't forget you,_

_Oh it's so sad,_

_I hope you can hear me,_

_I remember it clearly,_

_The day you slipped away,_

_Was the day I found it won't be the same…_

Listening to the music filling my ears, I walked over to the little white wicker rocker that Esme and Alice had picked out for me to sit in on my deck. Looking out over the little pond in the backyard, I felt peace come over me. Turning my head to Jacob who was standing there looking thoughtful at me, I noticed something pink resting on the palm of his huge hand. I lifted my hand to his and picked it up.

Jacob had gotten me a little pink IPod and the picture background of the screen was a box of conversation hearts. I glanced up into Jacob's eyes filled with wonder and I was immediately taken back with memories that I thought I had lost during my transformation. As my mind started to wander back the song changed to…

_You Found Me by The Fray…_

_Lost and insecure, _

_You found me, you found me, _

_Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded,_

_Why did you have to wait? _

_Where were you, where were you_

_Just a little late but you found me, you found me….._

And BOOM!! Like a ton of bricks memories that had been locked up in the dark shadows of my mind came rushing into view like hot lava.

Me, lying on the forest floor curled into a ball wishing for death to take me.

Me, lying in my bed screaming out in the middle of the night, sitting crying on the floor in front of the window.

Not eating.

Not sleeping.

Not talking.

Not living.

Just walking dead, lost and insecure.

Then there he was, he found me.

My own personal sunshine…

"Bella, Bella, do you like it?" Jacob asked waving his hands back and forth to get my attention.

Smiling I told him. "Oh yes Jake, its perfect. Very thoughtful of you, I know I will enjoy it a lot."

I was watching Jacob as he starred at me like he wanted to say something else, and I was about to ask him when I caught Edwards movement out of the corner of my eye. He was walking towards us carrying a little white box with red paw prints on it. I give him a look of confusion, he just smiled his perfect crooked smile at me and I cringed for some reason. _Oh no what is that about?_

Ignoring my glare, he tossed the box at Jacob saying… "Here pup, got you a Valentine's present while I was out, enjoy."

Jacob looked at the box then shook it; smiling his sexy Jacob smile he opened it. Looking inside as he opened it I saw a red flea collar with his name on it and dog bones. My eyes shot to Edward, and in that moment I wanted to kill my husband. But Jacob just smiled and nodded his thanks.

"Edward, how did you know? That's exactly what I needed." Flashing him his best shit eating grin, I busted into a fit of laughter. I was looking at my best friend standing there looking all smug, when I became aware that the song was changing again.

_The Trouble with Love is… by Kelly Clarkson…_

_The trouble with love is, that it can tear you up inside,_

_Makes your heart believe a lie, it's stronger than your pride._

_Now I was once a fool, it's true; I played the game by all the rules,_

_But now my world is a deeper blue, I'm sadder, but I am wiser too,_

_I swore I'd never love again, I swore my heart would never mend,_

_Said love wasn't worth the pain and then I heard it call my name…_

"Bella, love, is there something wrong with you?" Edward asked, eyeing the music player I was turning over and over nervously in my hand. _Thank god my thoughts are off limits to him, I don't think he would be too happy if he knew all my thoughts were consumed of Jacob moment._

"No Edward, I am just listening to some music Jacob put on this IPod he gave me for Valentine's Day." I told him, trying to cover up what was really happening, with a lie. Actually I was starting to wake up to my locked away memories. I was a bit dazed and confused by the direction my mind had started to take me. Looking back at Jacob standing there, I had that old familiar feeling crawling up inside me. _Oh no, déjà vu is never a good thing!_

"Bells, Seth and I have to head back to the reservation. I wish I could stay with you all day, but I have Seth on patrol tonight and I need to check on dad. I will talk to you tomorrow okay." He said turning toward the door to leave. It took everything I had not to run after him and stop him. Shaking that thought out of my head, I began to wonder what the hell was going on with me, this is my daughters _imprint_ and my best _friend_, and I am a married woman for Christ sake!

Giving him a small smile I waved. "Sure Jacob, thanks again and Happy Valentine's Day to you too." But I was sure he saw my expression sink as he headed through the door, with Edward following him. A few minutes later I was brought out of my mind babbling when I heard a growl coming from inside the house, and before I knew my feet had even moved, I was standing in my living room watching in horror as Edward and Jacob were standing there in a face off position.

"What are you two pups hiding from me?" Edward hissed toward Jacob.

"Nothing, why?" Jacob asked with a smug look on his face.

Edward looked at Jacob suspiciously. "You are screaming those words in your head?"

"What words?" Jacob asked playing off his cool side. _What is up too?_

"That song!" Edward hissed again.

"What song are you talking about?" Jacob asked, chuckling evilly.

"You know damn well what song, something about scars and sewing yourself up." Edward hissed then looked at Seth holding Nessie behind him.

Jacob gave Edward a cold smile. "Leech, if you don't like the music then stays out of my fucking head!"

"Well it's kind of hard with you screaming at me!" Edward hissed, as Jacob's smile became one of a kid who had just hidden something from their parents.

I watched out the window, as Jacob and Seth made their way back toward the car. I looked back at Edward "What was all that about?" As Edward started to speak, the words to another song came on, recognizing the words they had just been arguing about, I restarted the song so I could listen closely.

_Scars… by Papa Roach_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, _

_My weakness is that I care too much,_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real, _

_I tear my heart open just to feel._

_Drunk and I'm feeling down and I just want, to be alone_

_I'm pissed because you came around,_

_Why don't you just go home?_

_Because you channel all your pain and I can't help you fix yourself,_

_You're making me insane and all I can say is, _

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut,_

_My weakness is, that I care too much,_

_Our scars remind us that the past is real,_

_I tear my heart open, just to feel,_

_I tried to help you once,_ _against my own advice,_

_I saw you going down, __but_ _you never realized _

_That you were drowning in the water, so I offered you my hand,_

_Compassion's in my nature, tonight is my last dance,_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, _

_My weakness is that I care too much…_

…_causing you're drowning in the water_

_And I tried to grab your hand_

_I left my heart open_

_But you didn't understand….._

As I listen to the words of the song, I started to have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that Jacob was trying to tell me something. And that these words were not just songs to him, they meant something. I started the IPod over and beginning listening closer. As I scrolled through the songs more recognition came to me. Jacob knows me to well, he knows how I feel. _**Music Feeds The Soul**_, as I use to tell him.

Scrolling through the play list, I felt as if I was reading a sentence he was piecing together by the song names. (The trouble with love is… scars… you found me…I miss you…back to me) _Is that what Jacob is saying? No, it can't be, he's imprinted._

_**SCARS**_ by Papa Roach

_**I MISS YOU**_ by Avril Lavinge

_**YOU FOUND ME**_ by The Fray

_**THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS**_ by Kelly Clarkson

_**BACK TO ME**_ by All American Rejects

_What could Jacob be trying to say, why wouldn't he just tell me?_ It's not like Jacob to be shy with his feelings. I remember the day he told me he loved me, and that he was in love with me. That was the only time I had ever seen him shy and tongue tied. He wanted me to know that I had options other than this life with Edward, but I didn't want options. I just wanted Edward, but at that point I don't think I realized how much I was giving up.

I really didn't believe my memories would fade so fast, but they had. Edward doesn't seem to understand why this bothers me so much. I guess because his memories have been gone for nearly one hundred years. I was about to ponder on the idea of being that old when I was pulled from my thoughts by Nessie screaming at me.

"Mommy, Mommy! Let's go! It's time! Our surprise from daddy is ready! Aunt Ali is here!" Boy Ness loves surprises, and she definitely didn't get that from me.

"Ok honey, wait a minute, I'll be right there." I whispered turning to go put my IPod on charge.


	4. Chapter 4

A Lifetime of Servitudes

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own them.

EDWARD'S POV (CH 4)

I knew Jacob had been hiding things from me, and his attitude just then had proven it, but I didn't have time to worry about it right now. I was going to show _my_ girls how much they meant to me today. As the three of us headed toward the house with Alice, Bella grumbled something about hating surprises. This girl was something else. _What girl didn't love presents, and why was it okay with her for Jacob Black to give her presents and not me?_

I was brought out of my musing as we came into the backyard of the mansion. I looked over to judge the reactions of _my_ girls as they took in there surprises. Bella gasped as she stopped, slowly looking around at Nessie's playhouse and her matching gazebo. Then Nessie started screaming, bouncing up and down, and pointing at the two horses in the pin that Emmett was still working on.

"Daddy! Did you get us horses, really?" Ness asked, taking off in a sprint before I could catch her. Damn I will never get use to her speed. Emmett grabbed her before she could pounce and spook either of the horses.

"Nessie, you have to be careful with the horses. They may get scared and kick you or something." Emmett told her as he stepped up to the fence allowing her to pet the horse on the side of the neck.

I looked Bella, still standing there in shock. "Love, are you ok?" I asked.

Bella turned her head towards me giving me a soft smile. "It beautiful Edward, everything is beautiful." She whispered as I tool her in my arms to hug her. "You're beautiful." I cooed, as she sighed.

"Would you like to pet the horses too?" I asked.

"Sure, sure" She replied, I had to choke back the venom that rose up in my throat from that response. I hated when she used Jacob's words. I know she is my wife, but he will always be the one that can give her things I can't. He will always be her _warm sunshine_ best friend, and I will always be her _cold soulless_ husband.

We walked hand in hand over to the pin. As we stood there looking at them and watching Ness play with Emmett, I began to notice that Bella's cheeks looked a bit flushed. _What the hell is that? She can't flush anymore._

I raised my hand up to her forehead, running my cool fingers across, as I realized she felt warmer than normal. _How is that even possible? _I would have to talk to Carlisle about that.

After hours of watching Alice and Nessie play in her playhouse, while Emmett and Jasper played football, we decided it was time to get Ness in the bed. I had asked Rose to assist Bella getting Ness ready for bed while I spoke to Carlisle.

"Carlisle, Bella seems to be going through some changes. I've not seen anything like this before, she had a headache this morning when I left the cottage and this afternoon her cheeks were flushed. I felt her face and noticed that her body temperature seems to have gone up some. Have you seen anything like this before? How is it possible?" I questioned him, as I sat drumming my fingers on the arm of the burgundy leather chair I was setting in.

"Son, I have not heard of things as such with our kind, but I will do some research. How is Bella feeling now?" He asked.

"She says she tired and feels as if she could go to sleep." I told him, wondering if she could actually do that.

"Hum, sounds strange, but I would let her do whatever makes her feel more comfortable right now, until we find out what is happening. I will put a call into Eleazar and see what he says." He told me picking up his phone to place the call.

I got up headed toward _my_ girls. I was anxious to get Bella back to our cottage, I wanted to hold her. So after I asked Esme if she would watch Nessie tonight, I ran home with Bella by my side. There was so much going on with emotions lately, I felt as if I was losing her.

Bella was constantly asking about her memories, it was really bothering her for some reason. She had known from talking with my family that it was normal, and better that way. I had told her that everyone she knew and loved from her human life would be dead in a decade anyway, and the memories would only cause her more pain.

But she had argued with me saying not everyone would be dead, and by that comment I took it that she was speaking of Jacob and the pack, so I dropped the subject. When it came to Jacob I knew I could never win this argument with her. He was a constant thorn in my side, not only had he been the other love in Bella's life, but now he had imprinted on my Nessie.

Although he didn't quite act the way that Sam or Quil acts with the imprints, he was still around all the time. I have often wondered if the difference was because Ness is a hybrid, or if it was hard for him to show his connection with her because Bella was around.

Seth shows more of a connection with Nessie than Jacob does, but I can't complain, I have seen firsthand that Jacob would go to his death to protect her and her mother. I guess that is one reason I put up his ever so sarcastic attitude he has with me. The thing that really bothers me the most, is that after he spent the day hanging out with Emmett, he came back knowing how to block me from his thoughts.

And whatever the two of them had discussed that day in the woods was never thought about from Emmett, so I still don't know what Jacob is hiding. Emmett and Jacob had slowly become the best of friends, at times I had wondered if my brother had to choose who to back up, if it would still be me.

Emmett and Jacob were alike in so many ways; they were both very outgoing and never held their tongues. The two of them worshiped my wife and daughter, and lived to pester Bella, just so they could set back and watch her take it out on me.

I had also begin to notice that anytime either of them were around and I would try to snuggle up to, or kiss Bella, they would make some sort of comment to embarrass her so she would push me away. And when we would put Nessie down at night, it seemed that Bella would always find something to keep her busy when she wasn't setting with Nessie through her bad dreams. I found myself lonely and craving her attention more and more these days.

Nessie's dreams were something of a concern to me, she would always show me what it was she had dreamed that scared her, and it was always the same. Bella would be human and dressed in a long flowing silver dress lying on the wet snow, bleeding to death and no one could get to her to help. She had her shield up which was blocking entrance to her. A part of me wanted nothing more than to dismiss this dream, because Bella was not human and her shield didn't work that, but a bigger part of me was worried.

As Bella came to halt right outside of our cottage, I was brought out of my babbling thoughts. I looked over at my beautiful wife as she stood there starring up at the moon. _God she is so beautiful moonlight in the moonlight._

"Love, is there something wrong?" I asked as she raised her right hand and wiped at her eyes. _What is she doing?_

Bella turned back to look at me smiling, as I caught a glimpse at what she was wiping from her eyes. "No Edward, nothing is wrong. The moon is just full and beautiful tonight, don't you think? It reminds me of something, but I can't pin point what it is." She whispered.

I reached over to wipe her eyes; I had to feel what I thought I was seeing. _Tears, how does she have tears? _

"Isabella, you're crying." I simply stated in shock.

Bella wiped one more tear from her eye and held it out to the silvery moonlight smiling. "Mmhum, it would seem that way, wouldn't it?"

I took her in my arms bridle style, holding her against my chest tightly as I carried in to our home. I was really beginning to worry for my wife, and had no idea what was going on. As I lay her down on our bed I noticed the missed call light flashing on my phone. Picking it up and realizing who the call had been from reminding me of the secret I had been keeping from Bella.

I didn't want to keep secrets to from her, but it was better this way. Bella had always scolded me for hiding things from her, but it was with good intentions. The last time she busted me hiding things from her she had told me never again, or she would leave me. But this was something that would hurt so much more than her leaving me while she calmed down. I would keep this secret as long as I could to protect her from this kind of pain. After all I have heard humans say quite often, that the road to hell was paved with good intentions, and mine most definitely is just that.

"Edward, who called?" Bella asked, as she propped herself up on her elbow looking at me concerned.

"No one Love, I think it might have been a wrong number." I told her, turning my phone off and going to lie beside her. I grinned as she let me wrap my arms around her and pull her in to me. Bella was actually going to allow me to hold her; she must really be feeling bad.

After a few minutes of listening to the creatures of the night crawl around outside of our window, my vampire ears picked up on a new sound, one I had not heard since the day that Nessie had been born. I pulled myself up, glancing over at Bella's face and she was a sleep and snoring lightly. _How the hell? What in the hell is going on with her?_

I kissed her softly on the cheek so not to wake her as I pulled my arm out from under her head. I got up slipping my shoes back on, grabbed my phone and headed outside to call Carlisle.

"Carlisle, we have some new developments with Bella. She had tears in her eyes tonight and she is sleeping right now. What the hell is going on with her?" I pleaded.

"Son, I have been doing some research but I haven't found out anything as of yet. Don't cause her any stress, just let her feel whatever she is right now." He told me sounding more frustrated than I did, as I heard Emmett speak up in the background... "What the fuck is wrong with Bella?"

I didn't want to deal with his overly protective bullshit where my wife is concerned at the moment, so I just sighed and hit the end button on my phone. Next scrolled through to find her number and hit call.

"Hello" She answered sounding so tired and in pain. I felt so bad for her right now and really wanted to be there to help, but I couldn't I was needed here with Bella.

"Hi, I'm sorry I missed your call. How are you felling right now?" I asked, hoping to hear some good news for once.

"Oh it's just the same ole same ole around here, I was just bored and lonely, you said I could call anytime was that okay?" She nervously asked.

"Yes, it was fine, I'm just sorry I missed the call." I said.

"So how is Bella doing right now?" She curiously asked me and in that very moment, I wanted to tell her everything, but I knew I couldn't.

"Alice called me earlier today, and I received all the beautiful roses you sent me. Edward they are amazing!" She cooed, trying to sound excited. But I knew she couldn't, she was in too much pain for that.

"Well I think Alice and Jasper are planning to come and visit you soon, is there anything you need? I would be more than happy to send it with them." I asked, knowing she would tell me no anyway.

"Edward, how many times must I tell you that I don't want or need anything? I have told you before and I will tell you again, I am not about material objects, I only require love and friendship at this point in my life." My new friend grumbled as she winced in pain.

"Please, if there is anything at all, anything, don't hesitate to call me. I will let you go rest now; it's awfully late for you to be awake now." I told her, hoping she didn't make a habit out of taking away from her resting times. She really needed her rest more and more these days.

I went back to my room and sat at the desk watching Bella's beautiful sleeping form. _How do I tell her something like this? If she finds out that I hid this from her, she will never forgive me. Hell who am I kidding; she's never going to forgive me anyway. I just hope that I don't lose her when everything is said and done._

The sun had started to rise by the time Bella had begun to stir in her sleep; she had slept sound all night. Bella had never slept so sound during the human years of her life. Hearing her sigh, I quickly moved to the bed wrapping her in my arms, stroking her face. "Good morning, Love." I whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Hum, good morning Edward." She whispered back as she pulled herself out of my arms and got up out of the bed heading toward the kitchen.

"Love, where are you going? Ness is not here to fix breakfast for."I asked, confused.

"I'm hungry Edward." Bella stated as if she had not just said something strange to me.

I jumped up following her out into the kitchen, watching her as she removed the bacon and eggs from the fridge. "Bella are you serious, you're going to eat that?" I pleaded.

"Yes Edward, why? If you have a problem with this, then go out or something. I don't mind being alone for awhile, as a matter of fact, I think I might prefer that right now." She said, sounding irritated at me again. _What had I done to her this time?_

"Isabella, I don't feel comfortable with leaving you alone right now. You have been acting rather strange lately, and I am worried about you." I told her, knowing I would give in to her if she really wanted me to leave. I had already learned my lesson with pissing the new Bella off. Temperamental, newborn, Bella was nothing to mess around with.

Smiling evilly at me she slammed the frying pan down on the stove top, bending the handle in the process. "Edward, I am not acting strange and I don't need a babysitter! Now do me and you both a favor and go play with Ness for awhile, I will run over there when I am done eating."

After kissing her cheek, I turned and walked away. I could feel her slipping from me slowly everyday and it was driving me crazy, there was nothing I could do. I talked with Carlisle upon entering the house, to tell him of her attitude this morning and he was just as much a loss with words as I was. Bella had us all puzzled to know end.

I decided to give up on trying figuring out what was going on with her for the day; I just wanted to spend time with _my girls_ having fun. So after Alice helping me to get Nessie ready, Esme packed a picnic lunch for us. I was going to convince Bella to let me take her and Ness out for a ride on the horses to our meadow.

I was sitting there watching Emmett play with Ness when Ali plopped down next to me, eyeing me angrily.

"Edward, when are you going to tell Bella?" Alice questioned.

"I'm not if I can help it! Alice, you know this will only hurt and cause her to worry about something she has no control over. How can I do that to her?" I pleaded.

In the next second I became aware of three voices coming at me all at once.

"Edward, you need to tell Bella!" Alice yelled.

"Tell Bella what?" Emmett angrily questioned.

"Yeah, tell me what?" Bella asked, as she walked through the back door.

"Oh shit" I whispered.


	5. Chapter 5

A Lifetime of Servitudes

Disclaimers: I sat back at my desk ~~sighing~~ looking over at the picture I currently have on my laptop of Taylor Lautner. "Oh Mr. Yummy, how can I do you justice with this story." I whispered, taking my right index finger and running it across his cheek. Watching the screen flip from one hot sexy picture too another of Jacob Black, I felt my blood start to boil. "Oh if you only knew, baby, if you only knew." I whispered, as I heard my bedroom door open and in walked my husband. "If I only knew what, baby?" He asked, smiling. "SHIT" I whispered, thinking I was almost BUSTED!!!

Okay guys, I own nonda, zilch, just love to play with the freaking hot ass guys from this story!

BELLA'S POV (CH5)

I felt terrible, sick as I ran up to the big house. I had spent the morning throwing up the food I had craved for breakfast. I knew I would throw it back up, because I had no working digestive track, but I didn't care, I had to have it, it was screaming at me when I looked in the fridge.

As I ran through the back door I heard Edward being yelled at from Alice and Emmett, causing me to come to halt in front of them.

"Edward, you need to tell Bella!" Alice yelled.

"Tell Bella what?" Emmett angrily questioned.

"Yeah, tell me what?" I asked, walking through the back door.

"Oh shit" Edward whispered, looking at me worried. He turned to Alice hissing...

"See what you did! Bella is not ready to find this out!" Edward yelled, getting up to come to me. I backed away from him, raising my hands to stop his advance in my direction.

Emmett jumped to his feet, handing Nessie to Alice as he stepped in front of Edward, placing his hand on his chest.

"Don't think so bro, I suggest you answer the million dollar question." Emmett told him, as Edward tried shrugging loose from his grasp.

"Bella, I didn't want you to find out this way." He started saying, as Jacob came strutting through the front door.

"Hey guys, what's..."Jacob started saying before taking in the scene unfolding in front of him.

"Bella, honey, what they hell is going on?" Jacob asked, coming to stand beside me.

"It would seem that my husband has yet, hidden more things from me. What I don't know yet, is what!" I yelled, glaring at Edward.

"Bella, I only hid it from you because there was nothing you could do about it anyway. It would only have caused you pain longer than necessary." He whispered, reaching his hand out for mine.

"No Edward! Tell me what you are talking about!"I screamed, as Alice left to take Nessie outside away from the fighting.

Grabbing her by the arm to stop her, she looked at me with sadden eyes. "Alice, you know, what is he hiding?" I begged.

"Bella, your mother is sick."Alice softly whispered, continuing her path out the back door.

I looked back over at Edward as he began to back away from a growling Jacob and a hissing Emmett. "What Edward, spit it out, NOW!" I screamed, as Esme and Carlisle came running in to the living room to see what was going on with us.

"Alright Bella!" He grumbled.

"Renee is sick, she has cancer. It started in her breast and they thought they had gotten it all out but they didn't. The doctor told us that is has moved to her brain now. Bella, there is nothing that can be done for her, she is going to die." Edward stated, looking at the emotions cross my face.

I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I started running as fast as I could, out the back door, pass the baseball clearing, I even ran pass Seattle before I stopped, dropping to my knees and sobbing. The tears that I was no longer supposed to be able to shed were freely falling from my eyes when I smelt Jacob coming up behind me slowly.

I turned to look at him, not seeing him but knowing he was there. "Jacob" I whispered.

Jacob stepped out of the tree line slowly eyeing me knelt on my knees. "Honey, what can I do to help you? I am here baby." He grabbed me wrapping his warm body around mine, comforting me, as my body began to shake from the sobbing.

"Oh honey, let it all out." He whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek as he wiped the tears away. I stopped him from rocking me so that I could look at him. I was feeling that pull toward him again, stronger than ever.

I found myself forgetting the tears that were freely falling and why, as I cupped his cheek, starring deep in to his eyes. "Jacob, _my Jacob_" I whispered, as I felt his grip on me tighten.

"Bella, I love you baby." He cooed, placing his forehead against mine, nose to nose, gazing in my eyes like he was trying to tell me something. It was so quick and light, if I hadn't been a vampire, I would have never even felt it as he softly grazed his lips against mine, and then pulled away.

Sighing with his eyes still closed, I was intently watching him, wondering if that had really just happened.

"Jacob" I questioned. He opened his eyes now looking at me with his sexy smirk, tilting his head back down so that he could look in to my eyes again.

"Bells, baby, I would say that I am sorry, but I'm not. I could even say it was a mistake, but it wasn't. I would even lie, if I thought it would help, and tell you it will never happen again, but I won't lie to you any longer." Jacob said, falling back on to the ground pulling me in to his lap.

"What are you talking about Jacob? What have you lied to me about?" I asked, afraid I might not like the answer.

"Bells, I imprinted on you."He said letting out a big gulp of air, as he was relieved to finally be admitting that to me.

"But how, what about Nessie, Jacob?" I pleaded trying to understand what he was saying to me.

Jacob chuckled pulling me back down against his chest. "Seth imprinted on Nessie, the first time he showed up for patrol after she was born. I never imprinted on Ness, it was a lie so that fuckward wouldn't try to stop me from being around you," He said sighing, pulling my chin up to look at him, instead of the ground.

"Bella, I imprinted on you a long time ago. I learned to accept, as painful as it was, that I may only get to be your best friend for eternity. And I can handle that as long as I am not fighting a total eclipse. Bella, I can't live without you in my life." He whispered, grazing his finger over my now dry lips.

"When" I asked.

"Last Valentine's Day, and I will never forget the feelings that almost brought me to my knees. I didn't know then what was happening to me, because I hadn't phased yet. After I been phasing for awhile Sam noticed my connection with you, but thought it was just a deep love. Then the day of your wedding I was in wolf form rushing to get back to you, and that was one of the memories that crossed my mind on my way back from Canada. Sam saw it and met me at the tree line of the reservation as I crossed to change and come after you. He told me I imprinted on you that day, that is why I was so distraught about you going off with dickward on a proper honeymoon. Bella that nearly killed me, it took Sam, Paul, and Jared all three to pull me back away enough, so I didn't blow our cover and tear him apart to stop him from taking you." Jacob said, trying to mask his anger about remembering that day.

"Why didn't you tell me Jacob?" I pleaded, hoping for an answer that would make everything make since to me. I felt as if I knew this and these feelings, but I wasn't sure what was going on, I was still not sure of what memories were real and which ones I was making up to compensate for my thoughts.

"Bella, I tried every which way I could to make you see me, to see us, our future! You wouldn't listen to me, no matter how hard I tried, and it felt like the harder I tried, the faster you pulled away from me. Damn Bella, by the time that I found out that I had indeed imprinted, you were already married to him! What the hell did you want me to do? Because I tell you what I wanted to do, and what I have wanted to do every fucking day since! I want to grab you up, take you home to La Push with me, where you belong! Bella, I am your destiny not him! I am your natural path, and you fucking know it. I can still see that look in your eyes, the one that tells me no matter what memories may be gone, you're not gone, WE ARE NOT!!" Jacob yelled at me now, releasing me from his hold, jumping to his feet walking away.

I turned my back on him and began to walk back toward Forks. I didn't know if I was ready to deal with this on top of my mother dying, and my husband that I was beginning to hate with a fiery passion. I didn't get very far before Jacob grabbed me from behind, stopping my retreat.

"No Bella, the wolf is out of the bag now. We have to talk about this, I'm not mad at you honey. I am mad at myself for not seeing the imprint sooner, for not trying harder to stop you from leaving with him that day." He said, as he turned me in his arms to face him.

"Most of all, I am mad because every single time I close my eyes and try to sleep, I can't. I see you lying under _me_, as I as I make love to you, showing you how much I love and need you. I feel the passion that I know is there, as you look in to _my_ eyes. I hear _my name_ being screamed from your precious lips, as I claim and mark you as _mine_. Bella, I see _our children_ running around on First Beach with us chasing after them, I see and feel it all. _Our whole future Bella_, I see it every time I close my eyes!"

"Bella, you told me after the newborn fight that you saw our future too, but you still turned and walked away from me. I didn't know about the imprint then and if I had, I still don't know that I would have been able to stop you." He whispered, placing his head against mine again.

"You would have." I whispered, knowing the feelings I was having now had to be an indicator to my inner feelings then too. Jacob pulled back from me, eyeing me carefully.

"Bella, please don't tell me that, not now." He said as a single tear ran from his eyes.

I didn't say anything else as I pulled away, turning to go back home to the life I had created for myself. Jacob followed behind me, neither of us saying anything else, but I could feel his heated stare glaring through me like he was standing in front of me burning me with the sun.

Right before we got to back to the baseball clearing, Jacob stopped me. He grabbed me pulling me down before I could comprehend what he was doing he had me pinned to the ground.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" I rushed out. Without another word being spoken, I found my lips locked with his. Jacob's hot lips caressed mine as the raging burning fire on his tongue devoured mine in a sensual dance. He released the sides of my face, hovering over me, running his other hand down my neck, over my shoulders, across my breast and stopping on my stomach.

Moaning against my lips, his breathing became ragged as he gasped allowing himself air, before sliding in between my legs pressing his cock against the inside of my core. "Jacob" I moaned, bucking forward to grind against him.

"Bella, I love you so fucking much it hurts. Do you feel that Bella? It is all your and had never belonged to anyone else." He whispered, sliding his tongue over my lips begging for entrance, as he pushed his rock hard cock against me once again.

"I love you too Jacob" I said, pulling away from him to look in his eyes. I wanted this more than anything, but right now was not the time, and I knew I would have to stop, or we wouldn't be able to stop later.

"Bella, what is wrong honey?" He asked, looking hurt.

"We can't, Jacob, there is too much going on." I told him, sliding out from under him and setting up.

I sat there looking out at the woods, wondering what was going on at home and how I was going to tell Edward that I was leaving for awhile. Jacob slid up behind me, pulling me back in between his legs so that I could lean back against his chest, while he held me during my babbling thoughts.

He reached for my hands, pulling each one up to his mouth and kissing my palm, and then began kissing each one of my fingers until he got to my wedding ring. Eyeing it closely, he laughed.

I looked at him curious to what he was laughing about when he spoke up saying... "He doesn't even know your taste in jewelry. Bella, you know that you would have never worn that ring if it had not been your wedding ring."

I smiled back not saying a word. I didn't need to, this was Jacob, _my Jacob_ and he knew me better than I knew myself. We got up and started to run back to the house, it was getting dark and we had been gone almost all day.

Still not knowing what I was going to say to Edward, I decided to tell Jacob what my plans were. "Jacob" I said, stopping my advance toward the back yard of the Cullen mansion.

He wrapped his strong warm arms around me smiling, "Yes honey?"

"I'm leaving Edward." I whispered, not wanting anyone from the house to hear me before I talked to Edward about it.

Jacob's eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store, as he picked me up in the biggest bear hug swinging me around and around whispering..."kwopkalawo'li" before setting me back down on my feet.

I looked at him wondering what he had said, when he leaned back down and kissed me, bring his lips away from mine causing me to whimper, he pressed his lips back to mine smiling against them.

"It means... I love you, stay with me forever"

Smiling still he released his hold on me as we turned back to the house. "I need to check on Nessie then talk to Edward. I want you to take her to dads while I talk with Edward and I will meet you both there. Tell dad I will explain everything to him when I get there. Okay?" I asked as he nodded yes.

"Jacob, I'm not staying in La Push, okay? I have things I need to work through, I'm married." I told him, sorry to have to admit that, when I knew my heart would be in La Push.

"Bella, don't even think about it!" He grumbled, letting go of one of my hands and running his free hand through his hair frustrated.

"Don't think about what?" I asked, but before he could respond we had came face to face with a pissed off Edward, eyeing our interlocked hands.

"I see you two enjoyed yourselves today." Edward spat as he walked around us in a circle sniffing of me and Jacob, like an animal getting ready to attack his prey.

Jacob let out a loud growl warning Edward to back off, but it only added fuel to Edward's fire. He gave an evil chuckle, as he snatched my hand from Jacob's yanking me roughly against him. Jacob hissed. "Let her go, right fucking now!"

Edward ignored Jacob, looking at me again; he hissed "Why do you smell like mutt, Love?"

Jacob started retreating back away from us slowly never removing his eyes from mine, as Edward slung me out of the way. Jacob phased and lunged toward Edward as I begin screaming...

"EMMETT!!!!! HELP!!!!"

A/N Ok there we go 5th chapter! We are starting slow as I am rewriting this as I post it. There will be a lot of changes to this story from the previous version, so if you read the other copy, I hope you will like this one better. I will try my best to get this written and posted as quick as I can so those of you that are waiting for the sequel, don't have to wait long. ;) As always, please review....it feeds my writing and makes me write faster. I enjoy everyone's ideas and thoughts, good or bad about my stories. So don't B shy, pop N and say hi!! ;) robin


	6. Chapter 6

A Lifetime of Servitudes

Disclaimers; Grabbing Bella's hand, I stood watching the scene unfold in front of me. I began to get excited as I anticipated the demise of Edward Cullen. Bella grabbed her heart as Jacob lunged toward her husband. Why would she care, she doesn't still love him does she? Surely not, who could love a dick like that? Especially when she has the sexy, tall dark and handsome wolf ready to mark her as his. I Felt the anger rising slowly up from my stomach as I took in her scared face. I lost it at that point and began to scream at her. "Bella, I swear, if you go back to that idiot, I will kidnap _your Jacob_ and you will never see him again!"

Ok my peoples, I know broken record here, but I am told I have too....I own noda!! Now on with the story!

JACOB'S POV CH6

It was taking everything in me not to rip that asshole to pieces right now. I could feel the blood boiling as it ran through my veins, screaming at me to attack. Advancing one step forward, I heard Nessie began to cry. I turned my head to look in her direction. It broke my heart right in two to see her look like that. Ness was down on her knees holding her chest sobbing, as Alice rocked her back and forth.

I had grown to love Nessie with all my heart. I couldn't imagine loving her anymore, even if she was my own daughter. The imprint on her mother had only made me love her that much more.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE IMPRINT ON HER MOTHER?" Edward hissed, lunging in my direction. Oh well, he should have stayed out of my head.

Trying to pull on his arm. Bella yelled "Edward, stop this right now!"

The last coherent thought that I had before seeing him violently throw Bella about twenty feet away, was _"Protect your imprint, kill the leech!" _

My enter wolf, the Alpha, screamed and roared in my head, as he forgot all thoughts of Nessie watching the unfolding doom of her father. I lunged at Edward, sinking my teeth deep into his right leg as I slung him around to my right side.

Snapping his leg right above the knee from his body, he hissed in pain, while taking his fist and pounding one hard hit to my right side breaking two of my ribs. Hearing Esme scream out in horror, I was momentarily distracted giving Edward enough time to grab my left leg and sling me into a tree about ten feet away from where I now noticed that Bella was laying, unconscious.

The Alpha in me roared and growled at Carlisle as he came running to Bella's side seeing that she was not moving. I howled notifying my brother's I needed them, then I phased back. Yanking on my shorts, not caring that everyone in that back yard had just seen Little Jake, I ran to Bella.

"Bella, oh god Bella, please be ok! Not now, I can't lose you now!" I cried. Bella was as still as a corpse lying in her grave, but there was one thing different about her. She was wheezing for air and I could hear a faint thumping coming from her body. _What the hell is that?_

"Jacob, please I need to look at Bella!" Carlisle pleaded. I heard hissing coming from behind me as I turned to look at him. I yanked my head back farther to look around, and caught a glimpse of Emmett holding Edward back from coming to us. Everything seemed to be happening around me in slow motion, as the fighting mad Alpha began to fade from my mind, and the scared man began to take over, worried for his love.

"Jacob!" Carlisle yelled.

"Ok" That was all my broken voice would spit out at him at the moment. I was scared, Bella was hurt! She was a vampire that was hurt! Vampires don't get hurt like that! And she was breathing like she had to have the air to survive, while he heart was trying to thump! _What the fuck was going on?_

I heard three of my wolf brothers paws running through the woods, as they got closer. I felt the air shift around me, as they phased to man. I heard them yelling my name, as they came running in my direction. I felt two sets of warm hands lay against my shoulders, as I heard Seth scream for Nessie. I realized at that very moment, I could hear, I could feel, but I couldn't see anything before me.

I raised myself up off my knees, took my hands and wiped at my blurry eyes. I was crying, my eyes were full of tears, blocking me from seeing _my Bella_. Angry at my weakness, pissed at Edward, scared for Bella, I found myself not being able to control my shimmers. I was going to phase, I knew it, and I could feel the blurring as I began to lose my form into mid air.

I could feel hands grab at me trying to hold me_. Who would be stupid enough to try and control my Alpha from coming to life? _"Jacob, don't lose yourself man. Bella needs you right now. Hold yourself together, for her."Paul said with a stern voice.

"Carlisle, what is going on with Bella?" I cried. He turned to look back at me but didn't speak. He gently picked her up and started walking toward his house. "CARLISLE" I growled.

Turning to me he hissed "Jacob, I don't know what is going on with Bella! When I do, I will tell you, but I suggest you and Edward handle your problems and very quickly!" He spat, as he proceeded to follow Esme in the house.

Whispering to myself, "Oh, you can count on it." I turned back to Edward growling.

"Jacob, think about this a minute."I heard Emmett saying. I advanced further toward Edward.

"Jake, man, don't do this. Think of Ness and Bella."I heard coming from Seth's mouth, as I stepped up nose to nose with the very root of all my pain.

"YOU!!!" I growled.

Edward pulled his face back a little and smirked. _Did he just fucking smirk at me?_

"If you ever lay another hand on _my Bella_, good or bad, I swear on everything that is holy in this world that I will fucking kill you without a second thought. No one will be able to stop me! Do you understand what I am saying to you dumbass, or do I need to write it down for you to look back on when you get that stupid itch of yours?" Edward didn't say anything; he just stood there glaring at me.

I turned and walked to Nessie, who was now being comforted by Seth. I plopped down on the ground beside them and took her hand. "You know I love you, right?" I asked, kissing her palms and wiping away her tears.

"Yes Jakey, but why were you and daddy fighting? What's wrong with mommy?"Ness begged, crying harder against Seth's shoulder.

"Daddy made me very mad and I am sorry I scared you. Mommy will be ok, I'm sure of it. She loves you very much and would never leave you."I whispered, praying I was telling this precious little girl the truth and her worst nightmares were not about to come true.

"Nessie, mommy told me earlier that she wanted you and her to go stay with grandpa for a few days. Do you want to do that?" I asked, glancing around the back yard wondering if this was going to cause another fight.

"Yes, is mommy coming too?"She asked.

Nodding yes to her, I kissed her cheek. "Seth, take Nessie to Charlie's and stay with her until you hear from me. Tell Charlie that I will call him later and let him know what is going on." Seth nodded, happily ready to get Ness away from all the commotion taking place.

As Seth phased and Nessie jumped up on his back, Edward turned his head toward us. "Where is he going with my daughter?"

"Seth is taking her to her grandfather's where it is quite. She is already upset enough Edward, don't scare her more."I spat. I stood there grinning evilly as I watched Rose placing Edward's leg back in place, holding it while it fused back together.

I laughed hearing Emmett tell his brother. "You stupid fuck, he should have ripped your head off!"

Paul and Jared walked beside me as I found my feet could no longer stand stationary. They were moving on there on accord. The cables that were no longer invincible to the Cullen clan were pulling me toward my imprint. My brother's flanked me as I walked right by Edward toward the back door.

I could hear Edward hissing and Emmett laughing. "Bro, she's not your and never was. Bella belongs with Jacob."

"YOU KNEW! YOU FUCKING KNEW, EMMETT?"Edward yelled.

I heard my brother's laugh as we walked in the back door and up the steps toward the smell of strawberries mixed with freesia and orange blossoms, _my Bella_. I opened the wooded door that lead to a room on the third floor. I had never seen this room. I knew why, once I entered I was hit with the scent of Edward Cullen. An old dried out fermented leather scent. _How could Bella have ever thought that smelt good?_

"Carlisle, Esme" I greeted them, rushing to Bella's side. I let my eyes scan over her sleeping form before placing my hand over her now strongly beating heart. Hearing the blood pulsating through her veins, my own heart was forcefully beating against my chest for joy. I couldn't believe the sounds coming from her body right now. I needed to know I wasn't dreaming.

"Paul, am I awake?" I asked.

Stuttering at our revelation, he whispered. "I...I...thhiiinnkk sooo"

"Jared, slap Paul and pinch me." I quietly requested, before sticking my arm out for him to pinch.

With a stunned face he then turned to us. "Ok, but then who the hell is going to wake me up?"

"BOYS" Esme scolded, as she began brushing the tangles from Bella's long beautiful flowing locks.

"Carlisle, do you know what is going on now?" I begged. I was not above begging when it came to this girl. I loved her from the very moment I set eyes on her. The first memory I had of her and me as children, running and playing on first beach.

_Flashback..._

"_Bells wait up." I begged, jumping up and stomping through my sand castle by accident._

_Coming to a stop, and tripping over her sand bucket, she asked. "What do you want Jakey?"_

_Laughing at her trying to spit the sand out that had flew up landing her mouth when she fell, I dropped down in front of her, taking my hand and wiping the sand from her mouth. "You" was my simply childish reply._

"_What do you want Jakey?" She curiously asked this time._

"_Bells, I want you. Will you marry me?" Giving her my biggest smile, I watch as she smiled back at me, right before she broke my heart for the very first time._

_Giggling as she tossed a handful of sand in my hair. "Jakey, I can't marry you. I'm only 8 and you're 7, besides we will find someone that will love us one day that we will want to marry."_

"_But I want to marry you Bells. I don't want to love someone else. I want you to live with me forever like momma and daddy and Charlie and Renee."I said frowning. I wanted to cry, I knew I would love her and only her for the rest of my life. _

_End of Flashback..._

"It has always been just you Bells."I whispered, opening my eyes from the flashback. I sat down on the stool that someone had placed next to Bella and took her hand. It was at that moment that I noticed we were alone. Everyone had cleared out of the room.

I leaned my head down over hers placing my forehead to hers, willing her to wake up. "Please Bells, don't leave me now. Not now, I need you Bella. You are all I have ever wanted in my life. I'm begging you Bells, just like always, please don't leave me."I was pleading and begging her, as tears began to stain my cheeks again.

Bella, Isabella Marie Swan was the only person to ever make me cry. I didn't even cry when we buried my mother. I was going to be Chief one day; my father wouldn't let me cry. If he ever saw me tearing he would remind me that brave warrior men do not cry. But Bella, she always found a way to bring me to my knees begging and crying for her. _How did this tiny woman have so much pull over me, a big strong Alpha male, and at such an early age in life?_

Oh yeah, because we were made for each other. I was built to be her rock, her strength and she was made to be the heart that feeds my soul. We were two corresponding pieces to a complicated 3D puzzle. My pieces were always begging and pleading to connect while hers were forever being turned in the wrong directions. _Couldn't she feel gravity always pulling us back together?_

Whispering against her lips as another memory popped into the fore front of my mind. "Bells, I won't let you run away this time. You will wake up and I will connect these pieces for us. You know I don't make promises I can't keep, I will keep this promise to you."

_Flashback..._

"_Bells, I pinky promise!" I whined, watching her swirling a stick around in the blue tide pools of our favorite spot on second beach._

"_Jakey, you can't pinky promise something like that. You're not old enough to know that you will marry me one day."She giggled._

"_Bells, I pinky promise! I will marry you one day and I don't make promises I can't keep!"I grumbled, getting up and running home. I was mad, hurt and crying._

_Crying and not paying attention as I ran into my house, I was thrown back on my butt as I hit something hard in front of me. Wiping the tears from my eyes I looked up to see Charlie starting to squat down. "What's the matter little man?"_

"_Nothing" I spat._

"_Alrighty then, how about you tell me who has made you cry then?"He asked, wiping the traitor tear from my eyes._

"_Bella made me cry! I don't understand her!"I yelled, as he began laughing so hard he fell back on his butt too._

"_Little man, first lesson in life, no matter withers she's wrong or right, the woman is always right. Second lesson in life, always agree with whatever she says, and if she's wrong, just nod like you agree and let it go. You will never win against a woman!"Charlie told me, as he took a swig from his R&R._

"_Anything else I can help you with little man?" He asked._

"_Yeah, can I marry Bella?" I asked as he got choked and spit beer all over my brand new Superman tank top._

_End of Flashback..._

"I pinky promised baby and I will keep that promise."I whispered, as Carlisle stepped back in the room.

"Jacob, I would like to know what is going on with you and my daughter-n-law. Edward just left, he said he'd be back in a few days, but he didn't offer me any information on what has taken place today. Emmett just told me that you lied about imprinting on Nessie. That it was actually Isabella you had imprinted on and he had helped you hide it all these months. Why would you do that Jacob?"

"I did it for love."I softly whispered, while laying my head down on Bella's chest listening to her heart beating furiously fast.

Carlisle walked up with his stethoscope placing it at different spots on her legs, stomach and chest listening to her. "I don't understand Jacob."

"Look doc fang, I don't care to explain myself right now. I want to know what is going on with Bella."

"For the first time in my life Jacob, I feel completely stupid. Everything I have learned in medical school and everything I know tells me this is not possible. But here I am witnessing this reversal transformation with my own eyes. I have never in my existence heard of anything like this, but then again, this is Isabella we are talking about and nothing is ever normal or as expected when it comes to her."

He finished his speech by shaking his head once more and mumbling. "Isabella is a magnificent creature that never ceases to amaze me."

"So spit it out in human language, what are you telling me doc, is she human again, half human, what?"

"Jacob, you know just as much as I do. Her once dead heart is now beating, a little too fast for a human but beating none the less. She has blood that is traveling through her veins and pumping that heart. She was sleeping last night, she is able to form tears now and she was craving human food this morning. True it came back up once it got there, but now that she has blood flowing again she may be able to hold food. I don't know Jacob. Until Isabella wakes up, I'm not sure of anything except that she appears to be at least half human now." He confessed, squeezing the bag of blood he was replacing from her IV.

"If she has blood, then why are you giving her more?"I questioned.

"Bella didn't have enough blood to pump her heart when it started trying to beat after the accident outside."

Growling I corrected him. "That was no accident; pencil dick threw Bella into a fucking tree because he was jealous!" I knew he didn't mean to piss me off, but he did. There was no way I would let him cover this one up for the son he thought was a prodigy, when actually he was just a prodigal fuck up!

"Jacob, I didn't mean to upset you, and I don't make assumptions as you well know. I was not out there; I didn't see what took place. So..."He was saying before I so kindly interrupted.

"You don't have to make assumptions, look at her!"I growled, feeling myself began to shimmer again. I heard the door being swung open but I was seeing red at this point again. My Alpha was screaming once again. I needed to hear the shreds of leech being torn apart! I craved the taste of venom as I ripped apart the dead flesh! The Alpha was demanding revenge for his imprint! And in front of me wide eyed stood Carlisle fucking Cullen!

"JACOB NO!!!" Was the screams I heard coming from somewhere near me in the room as I lunged forward, phasing and going through the plate glass window Carlisle stood in front of.


	7. Chapter 7

A Lifetime of Servitudes

Disclaimer; I do not own them, that privilege goes to the gr8t SM, that is coming out with a new book from the Saga! If you are interested then you will be able to purchase the book in mid June. This book will be about Bree, and her ending human life and the beginning of becoming a newborn vampire!!

BELLA'S POV CH 7

_Who is that yelling? Jacob? What is wrong with him?_ I heard him growling something about assumptions when I opened my eyes. OMG! He's going to attack Carlisle. _What could Carlisle have done to piss Jake off bad enough for him to attack him?_

There was so much anger brewing in Jacob at the moment he had not even noticed me stir. I went to try and pull myself up into a setting position, so that I could calm him down, but I found that I couldn't move. _What is wrong with me?_

I turned my head to ask for help, about the time I saw Jake's arm blur. It took half a second for me to turn my head in the direction of his aim. He was going to phase; Carlisle was directly in front of him, with a plate glass window behind him. The first thoughts that went through my head were of Jake, _my Jacob_, mangled and bloody laying on the ground, after a two story drop through that window.

I threw my arm out to grab his hand screaming, "JACOB NO!" I cried, as I felt the air shift around us and a blur with a mincing growl went through the window, taking Carlisle with him. I was helpless to do anything. I started screaming, knowing someone had to be there to hear me.

I could hear the growls and hissing coming from outside, but no one was speaking. I noticed someone's heavy breathing and a whimper. Oh god he's hurt, _my Jacob_ is hurt. I tried again to get up, finding this time was a little easier. My body felt broken and sore. _How is that possible? What had happened to me?_

I slowly pulled myself into a setting position, my shoulders hunching forward, as the pain rocked through my body. I whimpered, trying not to cry out with agony. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I moved my legs, swinging them off the table. The pain was so strong, I couldn't help it, I found myself screaming.

"OW SHIT!" I screamed about the time I felt cool arms wrapping around me. I had not even noticed anyone come into the room with me. "Belly, their ok, don't worry."

"Emmy"I questioned, leaning into my best friends embrace.

"Yeah Belly, Jakes outside cooling off right now, he'll be in here in a minute."I was never more thankful for Emmett's strength than I was today. He wasn't just my rock of a brother; he was my best friend and kept me sane.

"Emmy where is Edw..."I was interrupted by the door being flung open with a little too much strength. As I heard one of the hinges snap on the door, Emmett hissed. "Damnit man, don't you think you have given me enough shit to fix for you today."

Emmett released me and stood up, kissing me on the cheek and saying. "I love you belly, if you need me just holler. It seems that I have work to get done for your man over there." I gasped, looking at him in shock. _Had he just said that about Jacob?_

"Oh Belly, don't give me that silly look. Do you really think I wouldn't know what was going on with both my best friends?" He said turning to Jake and chuckling.

"Emmy there is nothing that has went on between Jacob and me." I told him, earning a growl from Jake and a laugh from Emmett.

"Maybe, not yet, but its coming. You two should see the way you look at each other sometimes. You're intense, even though you are blind and he is stubborn. But now that the wolf is out bag , it's only a matter of time."He chuckled, leaned in kissing my forehead and whispered. "Belly, get some rest, you have had a big day, and Carlisle is still not sure what is up with you yet."

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back down eye level with me. Hearing both of them chuckle. I turned to see Jacob still standing there in the doorway, watching me. "Emmy, tell me I'm wrong. Did you know that Jacob had imprinted on me and lied about Ness?" I asked, giving him my death glare. It always made him cringe.

"Belly, you're wrong." Emmett said and turned to leave, grinning evilly at me.

"Liar!" I giggled.

"Yeah, but I was just doing what you told me to do. You said to tell you that you were wrong and that's what I did." Booming his laugh, walking through the door, and smacking Jake on the back, he whispered. "Anything for you Belly, even if it's a little white lie."

Jacob picked the door up, where it was hanging from the hinge, and closed it behind him. I watched as he slowly walked to me, not smiling. His face showed no emotions as he moved to stand in between my knees. I felt him taking his legs and pushing my knees father apart as he squatted down, then falling forward on his knees, bringing us face to face.

He was pissed, about what? _Had I done or said something wrong? Where was Edward and Ness? Had he and Carlisle fought outside and what had he been mad at Carlisle for anyway?_ I had so many questions.

"Jacob, what is wro..." I wanted to know the answers to all my questions, but as I felt Jacob's lips crash against mine, all my coherent thoughts flew right out that broken window. I could feel this kiss throughout my soul, it was singing to me. My heart was vibrating....wait...._my heart was beating_!

"Holy Shit" I mumbled against Jacob's mouth.

"Shush..."He whispered, continuing to kiss me. I complied with his request, not wanting to feel the loss, if our connection was broken. His lips were so warm against mine, we molding together. Kissing Jacob was nothing like kissing Edward. I was always left feeling cold after kissing Edward, even after I had been changed.

I was quickly being drawn away from all thoughts of Edward, as I felt Jake sliding his hands down the side of my thighs, cupping my ass and yanking me to him. I whimpered at the soreness I was feeling, but wrapped my legs tightly around Jacob.

Jacob grabbed harder, pulling me off the bed so that my ass was setting on his thighs, with him still on his knees. "Oh god Bells, I love you so fucking much." He whispered, pulling his mouth from mine, but still kissing along my jaw line. I felt a shiver run down my spine when he slid his tongue out, licking my lobe and blowing his hot breath on it.

"Jacob" I roughly whispered, grinding my core against his legs. I felt him smiling against the side of my neck as he continued his trail of kisses along the base of my neck, working his way to the other side. Jacob began running his tongue up the side of my neck to my other ear. "Mummm" I moaned.

"Mum is right babe, you taste so good. I could live off the taste of your skin alone for the rest of my life."He said, as I felt his hot hands running along the rim of my shirt. Jacob slid his left hand under my shirt, up my stomach, around my rib cage and to my back where he began massaging circles. He brought his lips back to mine, kissing me more furiously this time.

I felt his cock twitching against my enter thighs, as he wrapped his hands securely around my ass and jumped up in one swift move. Laying me down on the bed, he released my lips as he hovered over me, sliding his legs back in between mine. "God babe you smell so fucking good." He groaned, pressing his cock against the seams of my core. He was driving me crazy and he knew it.

"Jake, _my Jacob_."I seductively whispered, kissing down his neck and twirling my tongue around his stiff hot nipples.

"Fuck babe!" He groaned, bucking forward.

"Do you like that babe?" I asked, feeling him chuckle slightly.

Jacob pulled up looking at me, and then he smiled _my Jacob smile_. He leaned his head down sliding his tongue out of his mouth, sliding it up my neck, right about the time her shoved his cock hard against my core. "Does that answer your question Bells?"

"Mu-hum" I moaned.

"And this babe, does this answer your question?" He groaned, leaning down and biting my nipple through the cotton fabric of my shirt.

"DAMN!" I yell-whispered, feeling the warm juices pooling in my panties.

"Do you like that babe?" He asked, smirking at his repeat of my question.

"Oh god yes" I whispered, begging him with my eyes to touch me more.

"What do you want babe? Tell me what you want me to do."He whispered, pulling my shirt up, kissing my belly button.

"I want you Jake, all of you."I moaned, gasping as he stuck one finger under the rim of my bra, sliding his finger along the bottom of my breast. I knew I wanted Jacob; I had so many dreams of being with him when I was still human. I was constantly being plagued with dreams of us making love, after the night in the tent. Sleeping with his warm body against mine in that sleeping bag had made me crave and long for him. But I was stupid and ignored my own heart until it was too late, and now I am married with a daughter. Oh god, I'm married with a daughter! _What the hell am I doing?_

Coming to my senses I pushed on Jacob's chest, trying to move him off of me. God he is heavy, wait I'm a vampire...wait there something wrong with. My heart, the breathing, he's heavy to me now, and "OMG!!" I yelled, as I noticed the bag of blood hanging on the pole beside the bed. _Had Carlisle been giving me blood? Why?_

Looking hurt and breaking my heart, Jacob pulled back, setting himself up on his knees looking down at me. "Bells, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let things get this far."

I wanted to cry because I wanted nothing more than to make love to Jacob. I had wanted that for so long now. He was my best friend, more than my best friend, Emmett was my best friend, and Jake was _my Jacob._

_How could I hurt him like this? How could I have hurt him all this time? How did I not know about the imprint?_ "No Jacob, it's not you, it was me, I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling tears springing to my eyes.

Jacob leaned down and kissed each of my eyes, wiping the tears away. "Bells, everything is ok, don't cry."He whispered, pulling me up into a bear hug. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too, Jacob, I love you too so much." I told him, placing one kiss on his chest then pulling myself away from him to set up. I got up walked over to the window, looking out at the fall from this floor, was actually scary to me. I was dazed with my thoughts when I felt his arms wrap around my stomach, squeezing me he placed his chin on my shoulder, looking out the window with me.

'What cha looking at babe?"He asked, kissing softly on my shoulder.

"Nothing, just thinking about everything that has taken place today. I'm kind of feeling lost, ya know."

"I know babe, but you are going to be ok. I promise." He whispered, giving me one kiss on the side of my neck. With him standing behind me, I could still feel how hard he was and I felt bad for that, but I didn't think it would help either of us to go that far right now. I had to make sure I was going to be able to end my relationship with Edward, because I didn't want to hurt Jacob again.

Jacob turned me to look at him about the time the door opened. "Pixie" Jacob said, never breaking his stare into my eyes.

"Bella, Carlisle just called and said he and Esme would be back in about ten minutes. He asked me to bring you some water and see if you can hold it down."Alice said, handing me the glass and turning to leave. _Was she mad at me too? What did I do to her?_

"Ali, are you upset with me?" I asked, before she could get out of the room. Turning to me, she smiled beautifully and said. "No of course not, what would I have to be mad at you for?"

"You just look mad?" I said, frowning, as Jacob squeezed my arms slightly, bringing my eyes back to his.

"Bells, no one is mad at you about anything. You haven't done anything wrong."He said, placing the sweetest kiss on the tip of my nose. I heard Alice gasp and squeal. I turned to look at her thinking she was pissed because of the affection Jacob was showing me, but I was mistaken. Alice was standing there grinning from ear to ear at me.

I gave her a quizzical look thinking she should be mad at me; I'm married to her brother for Christ Sakes! "Bella, don't give me that look. You're not happy with Edward and I don't care for the way he is trying to change everything about you. Bella you are my sister just as much as he is my brother and I love you. He is the wrong one, not you. And I have begged him to tell you about Renee, it wasn't right for him to keep that from you even if his reasoning was right, you still should have had that option."

I pulled away from Jacob and walked over to hug my pixie sister."Love you Ali." I whispered.

"Anytime sister!" She said giggling then bouncing out of the room. I tried to drink some of the water, but it tasted so bad to me. I sat it down on the desk, planning on not drinking it, but _my Jacob_ had other plans for me.

"Drink the water Bells." He sternly said with that Alpha tone that I hate so much.

"Mr. Alpha I am not one of your pups."I said giggling, but I noticed his smile turned into something else. He looked sort of like I had pissed him off mixed with a seductive look hooded in his eyes. I was shocked to find that I hadn't even had time to ask what the hell, before he had swept me up in his arms again.

"Damnit Bells, if you plan on calling me that then you better be prepared for the aftermath of destruction that I will wreak on your body afterwards."He growled, sucking on my neck then nipping it causing me to yelp.

I giggled, I had found the perfect nick name for him now. "Oh Mr. Alpha" I whispered sensually in his ear before licking his lobe.

"Oh god Bells, you have to stop now. I only have so much control, and right now I'm hanging on by the last string."He said, pulling away to look into my eyes.

Looking me in the eyes he asked."Unless you want me to lose control with you here, and now, because I game if you are?"

"Jacob, we can't."I said, gulping and pulling away from him. He stood and watched me as I paced the room battling with my thoughts. _What was I doing? Where was Edward? How in the hell had I been able to deny his advances before? Because I was sure finding it hard today!_

"Jacob, where is Edward at?" I asked, looking anywhere but at Jakes eyes.

Growling, he rushed to me, grabbing me by the arms and pulling me to him. "Bells he's not here. After pencil dick hurt you he decided to take off. He told Carlisle he'd be back in a few days. Bells, you're not going to stay with him are you? Bella, I can't go through all this again."

"Where is Nessie?" I asked, trying to change the subject. I didn't want to go into that conversation right now. I still had feelings to sort through and even though I knew my heart was now with Jacob, I had a daughter to think about.

Jacob looked at me frowning, his eyes were so sad, it broke my heart. "Bella please don't, please don't do this Bells. I know you, I can see it in your eyes, your going do it to me again. Bella!" He grumbled hurt and frustrated, releasing his hold on me.

"Jake, don't do this right now. I love you, you know I do."I tried telling him, but he walked away, and to the window looking out. "Yeah, I know you love me, it's just not enough!" He growled, jumped and phased mid air.

"Jacob!" I screamed, but he was gone. He left and I was in no position to go after him right now. I sat down on the bed, looking around Edward's room. "There were so many happy memories in this room." I whispered to myself.

I was fixing to lay back down when I heard the door being opened. I turned to see who was there, and started crying. "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." I whispered crying and wrapping my arms around his waist.

A/N Ok, I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out, writers block sucks! And this chapter totally sucks and I am sorry for that. But I wanted to get something out to you. Next chapter will be better. Also there are banners for this story. I will have a photo album, story video and music player posted next week for it. So those of you that have not followed me over to my other site, and want to, just message me and I'll give you the link. If you are a wolf fan, I highly recommend you coming over. We have tons of fun and it's a lot easier to communicate with each other there. I will stop posting stories on this site when I finish this one and A Beautiful University Dream and solely post there. It's not worth all the rules and complications writers have here. This story is rated M and there is a chance it will be pulled in the future and if that happens, go to my profile on here and click on my homepage and it will take you to my profile on JBNP. Oh and for all you Jake/Bella fans that enjoy a heated Jacob then you really should come over! I am posting a new story called 'Slappin Pistions' this weekend. Take what you will from the name and if you would like to know what it is about, message me, I'd be happy to give you a little preview! I hope to see you there soon! ;) robin


	8. Chapter 8

A Lifetime of Servitudes

Disclaimer; Own them? Pssh, I wish! ;) Nope I own noda, zilch! But I do get to play with them in fanfic!

BELLA'S POV CH8

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." I whispered crying, as I got up, walking to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt so confused with the events that were taking place in my life. My life had literally turned upside down in less than twenty four hours. Yesterday I was happily married, well I wouldn't say happily married, but I was very comfortable in my marriage and didn't see that changing anytime soon.

I knew I loved Jacob. Hell, I knew my heart belonged to him on the day that I married Edward, but I was stupid. I thought that Edward was the one that I couldn't live without. I wanted Jacob, but I knew if I chose him that Edward would leave and so would my family, and I wasn't prepared to lose them all again.

Then there was always the fact that Jacob would one day imprint and leave me, and I didn't want to be alone, so I chose the safer choice for me. Jacob was my natural path, but in my eyes Edward had became the safer choice. And when I thought that Jacob had imprinted on my daughter, it broke my heart, it killed me. I had never felt so alone and empty in my life. I had only thought that the pain I suffered after Edward left was unbearable, but it turns out that I didn't know real pain until I thought Jacob would never be mind.

I did very well at covering my feelings and it helped a lot that my memories had started fading. But that hurt even worse than the pain I felt every single time I watch Jacob walk out my door, going back to his life, that I knew I would never be fully part of.

And now I find out that the past year could have been prevented. We have lost so much time together, but it's all been lost. Gone like the wind that blows off the cliffs of La Push. I am now a married woman with a daughter; I can't just run off to please myself. I have to think of her and what is best for her life now.

"Bells, honey what is going on?" He asked, pulling away to look at me. As I looked in his eyes, I saw another mistake I had made. How could I have ever thought that I would be happy without him in my life too.

"Bells, you have tears. How is that possible now?" He whispered, wiping the tears from my eyes.

I slightly laughed at that question. I had just been asking myself that same thing. "I'm not sure, Dad, there's been a lot of changes today."

"Yeah, I seem to remember Seth saying something about that. How are you doing with all this?" Dad questioned, pulling me to set down on the bed.

I watched his face as he took in the huge hole in the wall from the broken window. Charlie made the perfect cop, nothing ever slipped his eye. Even though he didn't question me on it, he had always known something was up with the Cullen's. Sometimes I wonder if he thought he was protecting me by not asking.

He shook his head at me and smiled, "I'm keeping the need to know rule intact, but may ask, which one made that damn hole?"

I dropped my eyes from his, looking at the floor and whispered. "Jacob"

"That's my boy! It's about time he grew a set of balls and fought for you." I jerked my head back to look at my father setting there grinning like the cat the just ate the canary. _What the hell is he talking about?_ I am a married woman with a child he didn't need to fight for me!

"CHARLIE!" I scolded.

"What? Bells that boy will forever be your perfect match. I don't know why you don't see that. Really honey, are you that blind?"

"Dad, I'm not blind, but it's too late now."I cried, flinging my face down in my hands frustrated. _Why was I even discussing this? It wasn't like I really had a choice now, did I?_

Charlie pulled my hands away from my face and smiled softly at me. "Isabella, it is not too late. You may live in a mythical world, but it doesn't mean your fairytale was set in stone the day you married Prince Charming. You can have your happy ending with your Knight in Shining Armor. You chose you're Happily Ever After, Isabella. Don't let someone else write the story for you!

I sat, mouth hanging open starring in shock at my father, who knew he could be so deep. "Bells, where do you think you got that brilliant mind of you're from? Surely you didn't think your mother was into reading and writing in school." He told me laughing.

"Huh, I never really thought about that. So it was you?" I asked curiously grinning and trying to imagine my father setting in a tree reading a book of fairytales as a boy. Nope, it just isn't happening in my mind. I thought, laughing at my inner thoughts.

"So, what happen here today? Seth showed up at the house with Nessie saying you were coming to stay with me for awhile. I got worried when you didn't show up. Seth and Sue are watching Nessie for me right now. So have you finally come to your senses?"

"Something like that, sort of, I guess." I said, wiping away the remainder of the tears from my eyes.

"I found out about mom today too. Did you know, dad?" I asked.

"Yeah honey, I know, Renee called me last night and told me. I was surprised to find out that Edward knew and you didn't, but it was nice of him to try and take care of her for you." I watched as Charlie wiped a tear from his eye. I knew my dad would always love her, no matter how much she had hurt him, and this had to be tearing him up inside.

"I'm sorry Dad, are you doing okay?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his shoulder. Smiling to myself I was remembering what it felt like to be snuggled in my father's arms when I was a child. Charlie was always my hero. He would swing me and Jacob around in circles on the beach, and fly us around like he was superman. Charlie didn't know but he had always been my superman.

"I'm doing okay with the news. I mean yeah it hurts to think of her that sick, and I would give up my own life to make it all go away for her, but I can't. God doesn't give us more than we can deal with, and for some reason this is what she has been dealt."

"Daddy, I love you." I whispered feeling the lump in my throat rising. Charlie and I just sat there in comfortable silence for the longest time. That was one of the reasons I love Charlie so much, we were so much alike. We didn't feel the need to fill the quite space with useless chatter. We were just comfortable being with each other like this.

I released my hold on him and stood up walking to the window. I felt as if I was being pulled in that direction again. "You not planning to jump today are you?" Dad joked.

"Nah, maybe tomorrow, it appears I get to eat human food again, and I won't some Italian!" I said giggling, as I stepped up to the opening of the window. I was wondering what had drawn me in this direction, but I didn't have to wonder for too long.

I caught a glimpse of Jacob looking sexy as hell, leaning against the big redwood outside the window. The more I took in his appearance I noticed he had changed clothes, he was now wearing black jeans with a skin tight white tee, showing off his ripped muscles. "Damn" I whispered to myself.

Charlie walked up beside me looking out wondering what my comment was about when he spotted the reason I was now wearing a huge smile. "Well I see you might have another sight to take care of them sore eyes now." He said chuckling, kissed me on the forehead and headed toward the door.

"Me and Nessie will be waiting at the house when you get ready to come back home. I love you honey." Charlie said, making his way out the door.

I turned back to find Jacob was now gone. I frowned and threw myself back on the bed, yelping from the soreness in my body. _Had Edward really tossed me that hard against that damn tree?_

"Jacob, _my Jacob_" I whispered. How could I have not known he had imprinted on me. _Oh I know, because you had your head shoved up 'Mr. Emo-his-fucking-self's' ass!_

"Oh shut up!" I scolded my thoughts.

My head shot straight up when I heard that deep chuckle coming from somewhere in the room. I looked around and didn't see him anywhere. _Where the hell was he at?_ I sat up on the side of the bed and turned toward the window. Nope he wasn't there. "Jacob"

There was no response; he was playing a game with me. I walked to the door and looked out in the hallway, but he wasn't there either. I felt like there was warm air being blown down my neck sending shivers straight to my core. I spun around on my heels looking around the room, but he wasn't there.

"Jake quite playing games with me!" I spat.

Still he didn't show himself, so I walked to the window looking down to see if he was hanging on the ledge or something, but he wasn't. I could feel his presence in this room with me, I could even smell him, but I couldn't see him. I was starting to get pissed when it dawned on me. The connection, the pull I felt earlier to the window. The rubber band that had always yanked me back toward Jacob every time I would get to far away.

I turned around facing the expansion of the room and closed my eyes. "You can do this Bella." I whispered.

I heard him trying to contain his laughter. Standing in the middle of the room, I slowly turned myself around in a slow circle feeling the air around me. _Where was he at?_

My feet began to move but I didn't open my eyes. I let the connection pull me toward him. I bumped into the corner of the bed as I rounded a corner and yelped form the sharp pain, but I didn't open my eyes. I stopped dead in my tracks; the connection felt like it was confused turning me and taking me back in the other direction.

I was quickly beginning to get infuriated when I bumped into something hard. "Shit" I yelped, again. He started laughing at me again, but this time his laugh was so much closer. Close enough for me to touch. I still didn't open my eyes although I realized he was standing in front of me now. Instead I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed him.

Jacob reached down grabbing the back of my knees and yanking me up to him, wrapping my legs around his waist, while kissing me. Breathing heavy he pulled away and whispered huskily. "So Bells, do you talk to yourself much these days?" And then chuckled, rubbing the tip of his nose against mine.

"Jacob, _my Jacob_" I sighed.

"Yes, I heard the first page from the window, when Charlie was here. You needed me, huh?" I slapped his shoulder for being so cocky, but then again his cockiness was most definitely a turn on.

"What! What did I do?" He asked, placing me down on my feet and laughing.

"You and your cockiness, Jake, you are ridicules sometimes." I told him, giggling. I turned to walk back to the bed, but he grabbed my arms stopping me. I looked up at him he was starring deep into my eyes, searching for something. Whatever he wanted he must have found it, as he pulled me back to him, my breast tight against his chest.

"Mum... maybe I am Bells, but you love my cockiness. And could you do me a favor? Would you say the word cock again?"Jake asked leaning down and sliding the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip.

I didn't have time to comply with his request before the door was opened and there stood Carlisle and Edward. "Hum, I thought I smelt the dead coming up the steps." Jake said, still not releasing me. I pulled my eyes from Jacob's gaze, looking at Edward who was in a crouching position hissing at Jake.

"Dog, I would suggest you take your stinky paws off of my wife." Edward spat.

"Yeah, um... about that, I don't fucking think so. Any more request for me before I rip you to shreds for hurting _my girl_?" Jake calmly asked, never removing his eyes from mine, but loosening his hold on me to turn toward Edward shoving me tightly against his back. _Shit, what if he phases? He will knock the shit out of me._

"Boys, let's not do this. Bella has been through enough today, don't you both think?" Carlisle asked, placing a restraining hand on Edwards shoulder.

"I agree Bells has been through enough, but this isn't over yet dickward! Go ahead and mark your calendar, I'm going to rip your ass to shreds before it's over with!"He hissed, and then took my hand pulling me with him toward the door.

"Jacob, could you let me check on Bella, before you leave?"Carlisle asked him, as if I was a child that had to have daddy's permission or something. That pissed me off royally; I was seeing red when I yanked my hand from Jakes.

"Carlisle, I'm right here you know!"

"Bella, I didn't mean anything by that."Carlisle whispered sounding like he would blush if he could.

"Bitch much?" Edward mumbled to himself. I think he didn't realize he had said it out loud until Jake lunged at him. Jacob punched Edward right dead square in the nose. I threw my hands over my mouth, feeling sick as I heard the snapping noise. I began feeling nauseous watching the scene unfolding before me.

"You're dead now dog!" Edward hissed, crashing into Jake, taking him to the ground.

"Ooo...I'm scared, the bloodsucker is feeling frogeye! Go ahead leech, jump, give me your best shot!" Jake growled

Carlisle rushed to me, picked me up and jumped out the window. He then ran around the house to the back yard. "Bella stay here!" and then he was gone again.

_What the hell? They'll kill each other!_ I walked back and forth pacing the yard, wondering where in the hell everyone was at right now. "Where is Emmett and Jasper when you need them?" I mumbled.

"Were right here Belly, why?" Emmett asked, walking out of the tree line with Jasper and Alice.

"You two have to go help Carlisle! He's in there with Edward and Jacob, there fighting!" I yelled, watching them all three laugh. LAUGH!

"What the hell is so funny?"

"Alice already saw how this turns out and if Edward is stupid enough to fuck with an ALPHA after he already pissed him off by hurting YOU, then he deserves what he gets. Jake won't kill him he's just going to dismember him for awhile. Now how are you feeling?" Emmett calmly asked, picking me up and swung me around in his famous bear hug. _Have I been thrown in the twilight zone or something, he's crazy? Has everyone around me lost their damn minds today?_

"Bella, did you drink the water earlier?"Alice asked smoothly. _What? Did she seriously just ask me about fucking water when those two are in there fighting?_

"I'm losing my damn mind! I swear! I'm in the Night Gallery or something! You have all lost your fucking minds, you've gone mad!" I yelled, as I turned walking toward the house. I needed to get out of here and now. Something was wrong and I didn't care to stick around and find out what.

"Where you going, Belly?" Emmett asked rushing in my direction.

"To hell in a hand basket, and NO you can't come along for the ride so don't ask!"

"Belly, don't be that way."Emmett cooed, in a mocking tone.

I turned to see him standing directly behind me grinning like a mad man. "Emmett, not now! Why don't you go find your wife and send her to the insane asylum I don't feel up to the trip today!" I said grumbling turning back to the door of the house.

I grabbed my bag off the counter and my keys, walked out the front door and got in my Guardian. "I really hate this damn car!" I spat. _Great, was I going to start talking to myself again! Maybe I was the crazy one, was everybody else sane_.

I pulled into Charlie's to find that Seth and Paul setting outside watching Nessie play. "Mommy, mommy!" Ness yelled, running to me and jumping in my arms.

"Hey cupcake!" I cooed, swinging her around in circles. Ness loved to be swung, just like I had when I was a little girl. "Hey guy's, is dad inside?" I asked, wondering why Paul was here too.

"Nope, he'll be back later."Paul sternly started. _What the hell is up with him?_

"Paul what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Jacob asked me to come be with Seth and Nessie when he found out Charlie had came to the Cullen's to be with you. So what are you doing here without Jake? He told me he was coming to get you out of the vampire's nest and bring you home where you belonged." Paul questioned, raising his eyebrow at me. I hated when he did that to me, it made me feel like I was in trouble or something.

"When I left Jake and Edward were ripping each other apart. And everybody else's minds seemed to have gone on vacation today or something. I couldn't take it anymore; I had to get out of there."

Paul jumped up quicker than I could move away and ran to the tree line. I figured he was gone to phase and help Jake, but was surprised to see him come back out five minutes later holding his stomach, trying to walk while doubled over laughing hysterically. _Had he lost his mind too?_

"Paul" Seth stated. Nessie thought the site of her uncle laughing like that was just as funny as the site; she began to laugh just like he was. I stepped back and propped myself against the car, watching them with curious eyes.

Paul finally calmed himself and stood up straight. "Jacob will be here I a few, I'm going to head back to La Push and get him some clothes. And Bella, he said to tell you to be prepared for an ass whooping!" He told me laughing again and running for the trees.

"Damn, stupid werewolves and crazy ass vampire's! Why can't my life be a little normal?"

A/N Hi guy's I just wanted to let you know that I will not be updating again before wed. I am working on another story to post and I need the time to get up and going. The title is 'Slappin Pistions' and it's another Jake/Bella story! Totally hot!!! But it will not be posted on , so to read it you will have to go read it on JBNP, if you're not a member and want to find out how, just send me a message and I will tell you! We have awesome fun there, you should join us! Anywho, I'll see you again next week to find out what Bella's being punished for! Have a beautiful weekend! ;) robin


	9. Chapter 9

A Lifetime of Servitudes

BELLA'S POV CH 9

I felt myself shiver as I began to wake up and open my eyes. I looked around the room and saw that I was still in Edward's room. _What? Had I not been at Charlie's earlier? How the hell did I get back here?_

Think Bella, what happened today? Let's see I remember Jacob telling me he loved me and begging me to choose him, then getting pissed and running away from me. Charlie, I remember dad talking to me, right? Yes, I talked to day about Jacob and Edward. I was crying and dad was holding me, right? Think Bella...I remember talking about Renee then him holding me again. The last thing I remember was telling him I loved him.

"Shit" I whispered to myself realizing I had fallen asleep on my father. That means everything else was a dream, right. Even Jacob making out with me? "Damn that was some dream to have." I whispered setting up on the side of the bed.

Jacob and Edward fighting, was that a dream too? _It had to be, right_? Carlisle had said Edward was gone for a few days. That means that everybody acting like they belong to the nut house was a dream too.

"Damn that was some dream." I sighed frustrated. Why couldn't have normal dreams now that I would be able to sleep again. I stood up and walked to the broken window and looked out at the tree line. I was remembering when Edward had taken me tree climbing the first time I had come here and met his family. That was such a happy day for us. I loved him so much then; I'd given my life up for him that day if he'd asked me too. He was my life then, I'd fallen in love so quickly for him. It was almost unreal to me; it seemed like another lifetime looking back on it now.

_Could I leave him now?_ I love him, but not as much as I love _my Jacob_. It took my heart to stop beating for me to realize exactly how much I loved and needed Jacob in my life. He completed my soul, and although I didn't know or understand why I felt that way then, I do know now. _Can I break Nessie's heart and leave her father for Jacob just to make myself happy?_

"What am I going to do?" I asked the air as I stood there looking out the window. My eye caught movement as Jacob stepped out from behind the trees looking up at me. He looked so sad, I wanted to cry, and I'd done that to him, yet again. _What is wrong with me?_

I watched this beautiful man step forward and grin. "My Jacob" I whispered to myself. It seemed that his name was flowing my lips like the air I was breathing now without my knowledge, it just slipped out.

"Back up babe" He said getting ready to sprint forward and jump through the window. He jumped and landing directly in front of me and smiled. "That never gets old." He whispered chuckling as he leaned down and grazed his lips softly over mine.

"_My Bella_ and yes I'm _your Jacob_."I heard the words falling from his lips as my eyes rolled back in my head and shut. He had raised my chin up to his lips with his finger tip and began kissing me slowly then running his nose down my neck.

"Mmm" He moaned, you smell so good babe."He whispered right before he began placing wet open mouth kisses around my neck. "Mm-hum you taste good to beautiful." I moaned feeling the juice begin to pool between my legs. "Mum...that smells even better sexy." Jake groaned rubbing his cock against my stomach as he began pushing me back gently until the back of my knees hit the bed and I fell back.

"Jacob, we can't do this, not right now." I tried telling him as my brain was screaming at me to shut up and make love to this beautiful man. I wanted him and my body was craving his. I watched as a slight frown graced his handsome face before he shoved it away.

He ignored me as he leaned over lifting my feet up and removing my shoes and tossing them over his shoulder. Jacob then ran his hands slowly up my legs stopping briefly over my mound leaning down and placing a kiss there as he used his hands and unsnapped my pants. He pulled my pants down while starring intensely into my eyes. He stood up and kicked his shoes off and slid his own pants off.

Still never removing his eyes from mind he pulled his white tee shirt off and threw it on the ground then crawling over me on the bed and pulling mine off too. I heard him sigh when he looked down seeing me in only my white satin bra and matching boy shorts. "God you are so beautiful babe." He whispered tugging off my shorts and unsnapping my bra.

I feel back on the bed feeling nervous at being completely naked in front of him. Edward had been the only man to ever see me naked. Feeling embarrassed I tried to cover my breast with my hands but he stopped me, taking each of my hands and placing kisses on my wrist then laying them to my side.

"No babe, none of that, you will not cover up your beautiful body. You're an angel Bella, why don't you see how beautiful you are?"He asked but not waiting for a reply before slipping out of his black boxers.

I was trying to tell myself this was wrong and find the will to stop it but I couldn't. Both sides of my heart were screaming at me.

"STOP BELLA YOUR MARRIED AND WHAT ABOUT NESSIE!" The right side screamed.

"NO THIS IS YOUR NATURAL PATH, OUR JACOB, WE BELONG TOGETHER!"The left side screamed.

He scooted off the top of me and propped himself up on his knees beside me, looking down at me with so much love and passion in his eyes. I wanted him and only him, and I knew that now, but how can I hurt others just to make myself happy? _Can't I ever make a decision and stick to it?_ I married Edward; I had vowed to love him and only him for all of eternity.

He leaned in kissing me moaning. "I love you Bella give me this, please. I don't ask much of you; please give me this chance to show you I love you. I promise I would never hurt you and you won't regret giving us this chance if you'd just relax and let our nature take its course."

I then shut my brain down, closed it off to the thoughts that I was married, that I had a daughter. I fought the disgust of the fact that we were in Edwards bed in his room, the very room that we had made out in several time. I closed my eyes as the passion took over me whispering. "My Jacob, please make love to me."

His rough manly hands ran over my naked stomach sending shivers straight down my spine. "Mmm beautiful" He breathed blowing warm air across my stomach. I could feel my flesh screaming for the warmth of his hands to touch the cold spots. "So soft" He whispered bringing his lips to kiss circles around my belly button. "Mmm Jacob" I moaned softly bringing my hand up and running my fingers through his soft hair.

He began slowly caressing up my stomach toward my breast and began tracing lines around my nipples watching my eyes intently. "There so hard for me Babe." I brought my hands up to touch his chest but he stopped me before my hands could begin its roaming.

"No babe" He whispered shaking his head back and forth at me. I frowned wanted to feel his body under my fingers. I needed to feel him to know this was real, that I was really here, with _my Jacob_ feeling this comfortable and loved with him. _How had my life changed so much in less than twenty four hours?_

"Jacob please" I moaned pleading for him to touch me more. Jake leaned over me and laid his forehead against the crook of my neck and sighed. "Babe I have dreamed of this very moment my whole life, please, I want to take our time. Bella I need to show you how much I love you. When I am through making love to you, there will never again be a question in your mind as too who you were meant to be with or who you belong too."

He slowly began to caress my shoulders and down my arms to my finger tips and back up. He stopped seeing the wedding rings on my finger and smirked. "You won't need this anymore." Jacob said while sticking my finger in his mouth, sucking, sliding them off with his teeth then spit them out in the floor as if they were poison.

My body was burning like lava rocks and the feeling of my heart pounding was overwhelming me, I wanted to move faster. I needed to feel him; I wanted to touch him too. I moved my hands to his chest again and dragged my nails down over his nipples causing him to moan softly before he pulled my hands away and placing them back down on the bed by my sides. "Leave them there."

"Please Jacob I need to feel you too."I begged as he ignored my request and began licking and nipping at my pink hard nipples. "Oh yes" I moaned louder. I felt his hand running down my stomach and sliding over my mound.

He painfully slowly ran the tip of his finger over my clit. It was taking everything in me to not grab him and shove him down and take him, but he wanted our first time to be special. I felt the tingles in my clit began to travel down my lips and through the walls of my vagina as he slipped two fingers inside of me while rubbing my sensitive clit with his rough thumb. "Oh god" I groaned bucking my hips forward against his hand.

"That's it babe, your body knows who she wants." He whispered with a taunting tone, daring me to deny the truth. His fingers began exploring furiously inside of me as I arched my back into the bed, bringing fistfuls of sheets up toward my face. I wanted to scream, I wanted the whole world to know that _my Jacob_ was finally making me his.

The amazing pleasure he was giving me was sending shocks throughout my whole body. I couldn't keep my hands to myself anymore, it was just too hard. I wrapped my small hand around his large cock. I silently wondered how in the hell that would ever fit inside of me without ripping, but let the thought go as I leaned over and ran the tip of my tongue over his head. "Bella" He roughly rasped.

I knew I had him then, he wouldn't be able to stop me when he was feeling just as good. I pushed my mouth down over his cock taking in as much as my petite mouth would allow. Sliding my lips up and down and using my hand at his base pumping and twisting slightly, he caved, falling back on the bed off of his knees. "Fuck Bella"

I smiled enjoying the fact that I was able to cause such pleasure in him. I was so tempted to just give in to my needs and jump down on his cock and ride him wild and hard, but I tried to maintain the slow sensual pace he was setting for us. "Mmm you taste so good babe." I moaned sending vibration down his cock as I spoke and sucked at the same time.

"Damn" He whispered bucking his hips toward me face. His cock was throbbing with every suck in and twitching with each blow of air out. "Bella you're killing me babe." Jacob groaned taking his hands and pulling my hips toward him. He took my leg and pulled it over his chest, my ass facing him, lifted my hips and pulled me back. I nearly came all over his face the very second his tongue began lapping up my juices. "Babe you're so wet for me."

"Mmm, yes, just for you babe." I said sending the vibration down his cock again causing him to groan and grab two fistfuls of my ass cheeks. As if answering my silent pleas he slide two fingers back inside of me and began pumping in and out while licking up my juice as it flowed down his fingers.

"God babe you taste so good." He moaned pumping his finger faster as I sucked harder. I wanted to taste him. "Oh babe I want to taste you so bad." I whispered sucking him deep into my throat.

My skin felt like it was on fire as my clit erupted. "Oh my god Jake!" I yelled. He pushed me off of his face swinging my legs around and flipping me over on the bed. I starred deeply into his passionate eyes as he opened my legs sliding in between my thighs. Looking intently into my eyes but not giving me a chance to deny him before he slid his cock inside of me slowly.

"Mmm babe" He moaned never removing his eyes from mine. I frowned seeing two single tears run down his cheeks. I lifted up my hands cupping his face and stilling my hips. "Jacob" I questioned.

_Was this not what he wanted? Had he changed his mind? Did I do something wrong?_ I had a million questions flashing through my mind seeing the sadness in his eyes. "Their happy tears Bella, I have only dreamed of feeling you wrapped around my cock, every single time I have closed my eyes for the past year."

Jacob making love to me felt like nothing I had ever experienced with Edward before. Just like the kisses from earlier, Jacob's kiss was so warm and passionate, it sent electrical shocks to every single nerve ending in my body.

"Jacob babe, I love you so much." I whispered thrashing my hips against him as he pushed in and out bring us to the top of our peek. "I know babe, I know, I'm just so happy you see it to now." He rushed out crashing his lips back down onto mind kissing me feverously.

"Jacob...oh babe..."I moaned feeling my body erupting with an orgasm. "That's it babe, cum for me and only me, give me all of you babe, I won't to feel you drench my cock Bella." He whispered grazing his tongue lightly over my bottom lip.

I dug my hands in his chest fighting the screams begging to be released as he fasten his pace, trusting almost violently now inside me as his own release came from feeling me clinching around his cock milking him, drawing and pulling him deeper inside of me. "Oh my god babe, I'm in heaven." He rushed out collapsing down on my chest and closing his eyes.

"I love you so fucking much Bella, that's all I know, is you. There has never been anyone else, just you babe, just you. You own me Bella, I will forever be _your Jacob_ and you will always be _my Bella_. Don't deny our love babe, please don't." He whispered as I felt his tears run from his cheeks onto the bare skin of my breast.

Jacob was crying and I was crying hearing those beautiful words coming from his mouth and knowing I would never be able to stay away from him now, no matter what happened with Edward or Nessie. Jacob was my life now and he had always been. I was just blinded by the sparkles of a diamond that should have been buried long ago.

"Jacob and Bella" I whispered wiping my face and placing a sweet kiss on the top of his head as heard his breathing slow and he began to softly snore.


	10. Chapter 10

To all my friends and readers ;)

I would like to tell you thank you for following my stories! It means a lot to me ;) I am happy to say that I have been working on a new project. I started my own fan-fiction site!

Cullen Fiction Addiction... I would love for you to come and join me and some really awesome writers there. If you are a writer, bring your stories, I would love to have you post there too! If you are a reader, then great, we love our readers too!

We have offer full fanfic stories &oneshots, fanfic character groups, forums, blogs, videos, photos, beta-ing, brainstorming, art center, etc....

I am also looking for some artist that would like to work with making banners, maniups, and videos for the stories, if you are interested then let me know! I would be happy to have you join our Art Center!

The site is my new my baby, and is becoming home to a lot of fan-fictionist ;) We have Twilight along with some other well known shows and books there! And I am always open to suggestions if I don't have something you would like to see!

The site is an M+ rated site due to some of the stories, so you must be 18 to join. I have fixed it so that my profile here will link you to my site if you click on my HOMEPAGE button that is above my avatar picture. I will also include the link in this message but some of my fans have told me that it doesn't show up, but I will place on this message again just in case.

I will only be posting my stories at my home now, so please come join me, and become part of our family! Have a beautiful day! frosty1974 aka robin (when you join you will get a welcome from Lady Isabella, that is me ;) I am creator and sole owner of the site, and I have some really awesome fanfic sisters that you will meet there too! If you have any problems upon joining, you will always be able to find me or one of the Mistress's in the chat room that can help!)

.com/profile/LadyIsabella


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